Jrlz's thoughts
by Jrlz on Aug 19, 2009 12:16 PM CDT
Email
PrintThe union remodeling is nearly complete. HUZZAH HUZZAH!
What's more, the scattered Pizza Hut stalls (Tiger Lair, 459 Outtakes, Pierre's Landing) are turning into Papa John's stalls. I don't know about you, but I find Papa John's much more tasty than Pizza Hut, so this is awesome news. Except for my arteries, which are bracing themselves for the re-entry of garlic sauce in my life. Hoo boy.
And there's a bowling alley, and I thoroughly enjoy bowling. I hope there's plenty of lanes, or it's open 24 hours. I'd gladly wake up at (or stay awake until) three in the morning to go bowling with my friends.
And there's Einstein Bros. Bagels. A full Einstein Bros. stall and not some clear pantry with bagels in it. I kinda wish their Everythings included chocolate chips.
From the email:
LSU Dining Construction Update
Due to construction delays, our newest dining hall – The 5 – will unfortunately not be opening. Highland Dining Hall will remain open until The 5 is completed. Please see operating hours below.
Um...
...
The 5?
The 5?
What was wrong with "Pentagon Dining Hall"?
The 5?
What, is it supposed to be clever?
Developer 1: This dining facility needs a new name.
Developer 2: Yeah, because "Pentagon Dining Hall" is just too convenient for the students.
Developer 1: Pondering... pondering...
Developer 2: Thinking... thinking...
Developer 1: Hey, you know what?
Developer 2: What?
Developer 1: Did you know that a pentagon has five sides?
Developer 2: Well duh, everybody knows...
Developer 1: ...
*a pregnant pause, comparable to the one just moments before the big bang*
Developers 1 and 2 in sweet, sweet, unison: THE 5!
Developer 1: It's so deep!
Developer 2: Yeah, a pentagon has five sides, and this is The 5!
Developer 1: It's like a puzzle. It's such an obtuse name.
Developer 2: Ha! Just like the angles of a Pentagon! They are obtuse because they are larger than 90 degrees!
Developer 1: Imagine if, like, Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci or Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting saw this name.
Developer 2: Whoa, it's The 5, and there's the Pentagon nearby... it's like a riddle... hmm...
Developer 1: The great riddle of The 5 will attract the brightest students and the world's elite scholars to Louisiana State University!
Developer 2: This is the kind of thing that can CHANGE
Developer 1: THE
Developer 2: WOOORRRRRLLLLLDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!
Developer 1: Genius
Developer 2: Genius
Developer 1: GENIUS, I SAY, GENIUS!
Developer 2: Go us.
Developer 1: Let's go get ice cream to celebrate our genius
Developer 2: I'll have FIVE scoops please. Get it?
Developer 1: No... OHHHH! You're saying Five scoops just like "The 5"! You can't outsmart me!
Developer 2: Whatever... YAY!
Developer 1: YAY!
Developer 2: YAY!
*the two skip and frolic their way into legend. The 5 would go on to be named one of the seven wonders of the world before it was knocked down and replaced by The 6.
But seriously.
First the 459 Commons (I still don't get that one) and now, um, The 5. Are we planning on turning all our buildings into numbers?
Will the Union be 47? Will Coates Hall be 821? Will Kirby-Smith be 666? Will Middleton be 69?
Come on, people. These buildings deserve real names.
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Not meaning to be offensive in those prior posts. I just thought Dick and his coworkers would like some quality control feedback from the readers. If this column was a dog I would shave its ass and teach it to walk backward is all I am saying. You guys have a wonderful day.
Just so I'm clear
What you’re saying is, you didn’t like this post?
Fake Pundit. Real Fan.
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com
Honestly I do not know whether to call it a post or a column. I was not aware the site was going to be presenting quirky op-ed pieces on the names of random buildings. This post was like a semi-lucid Jerry Seinfield bit asking “what is the deal with building names”. This entry makes me want to go read a Greg Doyle article. That aint good. Plus the new guy needs to take some.
NOPE
I'm very pleased they're redoing the bowling alley
Back 5 years ago when this union remodel started, word was that the alley was kaput and would not be replaced. It warms my heart to think that 4.0 Point, Jr. will have the opportunity to pay 2 dollard to spend his Thursday nights sneaking 40 ozs into the worst bowling lanes in the history of mankind.
by 4.0 Point Stance on Aug 19, 2009 2:31 PM CDT reply actions
That's it!
If I get one more complaint about Jrlz, I’m cutting his salary in half. If he doesn’t like it, I’ll cut it in half again. That’ll teach him not to write exactly like he wrote on his previous website.
Jrlz was brought aboard precisely because he’s a little different from the rest of us. I wanted to loosen things up just a bit. I made the same deal with him I made with everyone else who has ever written for us. You can write whatever you want, except for gambling guides and excessive profanity.
Father. Husband. Lawyer. Nerd.
by Richard Pittman on Aug 19, 2009 4:22 PM CDT reply actions
Well, shit
I’m screwed. And for the record, I love gambling.
Fake Pundit. Real Fan.
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com
"Excessive profanity"
is dependent upon the conditions, of course.
Father. Husband. Lawyer. Nerd.
by Richard Pittman on Aug 19, 2009 6:19 PM CDT up reply actions
I second Richard's thoughts.
I liked this post. It’s topical enough (about LSU), light enough that it is easy to skip if you don’t like the style (never once did I feel as if I stopped reading I would miss out on the meaning of life), and as a former LSU student living far away, it is something I didn’t know.
Keep JRLZ. Boot NOPE. Geaux LSU!
by TheBobLoblawBlog on Aug 19, 2009 6:08 PM CDT up reply actions
Nope hasn't bothered me at all
but I do appreciate the support and kind words from Rich and Monkey.
Hey, at one point, Nope compared me to Jerry Seinfeld, which is the most flattering thing I’ve heard in a long time.
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