I would love to bring my pleasant, sunny internet persona to real life and your tailgate and say hi en route to the game. If you're real lucky, I'll even bring you some Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers.

Okay, I have to write more because of the word limit. I could maybe bring a bag of chips or excellent betting advice for no charge. Gratis. That's a deal folks.

Fine SBNation, here's more words. Happy now? Jeez