A Flair for the Game: Ole Miss

LSU Freek

Here to weigh in on the showdown this Saturday, ladies and gentlemen, Ric Flair.

I'd like to take this opportunity to talk to all you folks out there in TV land, about myself and the Southeastern Conference. Folks, what you're watchin' here, is the peak of collegiate athletics. We're talkin' the big names: Nick Saban, Johnny Manziel, Todd Gurley! I tell ya, I might not like everybody here, but we're talkin' about the who's who.

And now we take the show on the road this week to OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI!. Ole Miss! The Grove! Wooo!

You know, when the Nature Boy shows up, it always causes a scene. Every single piney woods prom queen puts on their best sun dress, styles that bleach-blonde hair up nice, dusts on all their Mary Kaye and LINES UP! Because they all wanna get a look at the best lookin' man. The best-dressed man, WOOOOOOO! That's happening in the state of Mississippi! They all wanna chance to take a ride and hope to GOD ALMIGHTY, that Slick Ric will take ‘em away from that humdrum life of poppin' out two-point-five little brats with some deck-shoe wearin' Southern Tide wannabe from Tupelo.

And lemme tell ya somethin' jack! The Nature Boy never leaves ‘em without a smile on their face every. Single. Time. WOOO!

The people in Oxford see Ric Flair's name on the marquee and they line up! They want to see what a real man looks like! They want to see championship material! And they want to get a taste of the finer things in life! I don't care how many chandeliers they hang from those tailgating tents! I don't care what kind of fancy dish you serve that three-dollar Ro*tel dip out of! You see a man like Ric Flair, you see custom-made clothes, you see alligator shoes! Rolex watches! Long limousines! All of the things that a man of my stature, a man that wears this big gold belt, can afford and you want to dream that this could be you one day.

Now, on to that sorry excuse for a football team that they call the Rebels. Buncha hoddy toddy hoity toity runts that think they know somethin' about this sport? You boys are doin' nothin' but playin' catch-up ball to the man with the big gold. Now you and I both know, a bunch a nothin'-happnin' nobodies like you aren't ready to step up to the big time! But you're gonna get your shot on Saturday night brother! WOOOOOO! You're gonna get an up-close look at the best in this business! The Naitcha BOY is gonna style! WOOOOO! He's gonna profile! And after 30 seconds he's gonna leave you boys flat on your back, starin' at those stadium lights and askin' yourselves "MY GOD! Whatever were we thinking to think that we were ready to touch greatness!" WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

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