Ten Potentially True Facts: Furman

CONSEQUENCES CREED: FURMAN ALUMNUS OF THE YEAR, 2026.

Furman is a school where people learn things and play sports and stuff! So let's learn a thing or two about them, shall we? Here are some fresh, never frozen facts about the Furman Paladins!

1.) Despite their location in Greenville, SC, Furman is very well-known for the other type of football (otherwise known as metric football or soccer), producing United States Men's National Team captain Clint Dempsey and others. This is because university leadership refuse to accept the fact that America won the Revolutionary War and adhere to English cultural norms. As a result, they have been ostracized from the South.

2.) Furman's mascot is the Paladin, otherwise known as a "knight on a horse." Unsurprisingly, LARPing is wildly popular among students.

3.) Furman's mascot is actually indicative of its heritage. Founded by some Teutonic knights who "got lost on the way to battle, or something, whatever" according to a university historian. The original purpose of the university was to "establish outstanding excellence and efficiency in disemboweling."

4.) One of their famous alumni is professional wrestler Consequences Creed, who based his persona from Apollo Creed, who was originally portrayed by Carl Weathers. This is because professional wrestling has used the same personas for years, and because Consequences took an entire class based on the Rocky series at Furman. Hell, I'd take it too.

5.) Founded in 1826, Furman's establishment happened during an unprecedented time of American growth when many citizens were afraid of books.

6.) There is a myth that Furman's mascot was originally the "Christian Knights," leading to a potentially embarrassing acronym for the school. Luckily they avoided being made fun of by making their mascot a Dungeons & Dragons class.

7.) Cam Newton went to Furman and nope, nuh-uh, it's the same guy, shut up, lalalalalala don't care shut up and watch another Carl Weathers video.

8.) Furman officially adopted the moniker of "Paladins" in 1963, after having several different nicknames for their sports teams. For example, their baseball team was known as the "Hornets," while their football team was known as the "Hurricanes." Their golf team, known for their futility in this era, was nicknamed the "Bent Shafts" for the record number of golf clubs they would break after terrible shots.

9.) Paladins head coach and alumnus Bruce Fowler has SEC coaching experience, serving as Vanderbilt's assistant head coach under Robbie Caldwell in 2010, after which he returned to his alma mater. I am taking this opportunity to remind you that Bruce Fowler was the assistant to a man who used to be a turkey farmer. Oddly enough, Robbie's just down the road at Clemson.

10.) Furman's live mascot is admittedly awesome, but doesn't seem so cool when you actually Google it for some reason.

11.) BONUS FACT: CARL WEATHERS.

Enjoy the game on Saturday, folks!...you're going to the game, right? Right? No really. Hey where ya going? There's football. No please, really, there's football and stuff and if we buy enough drinks I promise to do this in the student section. Come on, it'll be fun. FUN!

Please don't leave me alone with Carl Weathers.

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