Back at home! Back in a Ric Flair kind of town! Back at my 5,000-square-foot house! Back where they KNOW! How to treat a man like Ric Flair!
And who is coming to town, but JOHNNY FOOTBALL!
Johnny Manziel! Credit where credit's due -- you are THE most exciting athlete in this sport today brother. There is NO DOUBT! And WOOOO! Do the girls scream when Johnny's doing his thing!
But let me tell ya something Johnny! When it comes to beautiful women, you might say that the Nature Boy is a bit of a connoisseur! And I enjoy a girl that, you might say, knows how to fill out a sweater, as it were! The Nature Boy knows how to navigate some curves, where it's in my $60,000 Mercedes-Benz, or behind the velvet rope with a line of girls just ready to take a ride on Space Mountain. And Johnny! The other night, a good friend of mine pulled the Nature Boy aside and said "Slick Ric! I want you to give a little present to Johnny Football! Tell him when he's ready to move out of one of these...
/holds up training bra
...you tell him to come see me!"
Manziel, everybody knows you've got all the talent in the world! But this Saturday, in Tiger Stadium, you're gonna have to stand toe to toe with the Nature Boy. I'm gonna style! I'm gonna profile! And I might even do you a favor and fix that crooked nose of yours!
But just to show you that there's no hard feelings Johnny, I'll make you a promise right here and now -- after the game, you and I can hit the town, and maybe! Just maybe. What it's like, to see some of those sweaters filled out!