Hello everyone, and Happy Thanksgiving from the ATVS family. As always, we have some fresh baked facts for you to enjoy before Friday's big game against the Arkansas Razorbacks!
1. John L. Smith has won more SEC games than Bret Bielema. This fact is not so much potentially true as it is actually true. Smith also finished 4-8 in his lone season at the helm in Fayetteville, contra to Bielema's potential 3-9 ceiling in 2013. This is only time in recorded human history that someone has used John L. Smith as a yardstick for success in anything.
2. Arkansas is the only SEC team to lose to Ohio State in a bowl game after falling to the Buckeyes in the 2011 Sugar Bowl. Remember that awkward kid that always tried to prove he belonged when you were in grammar school by doing the same things as everyone else? Arkansas is that kid. Related: just because the NCAA says it's vacated doesn't mean anything to me, because the NCAA says a lot of stupid things.
3. "Calling the Hogs" is one of Arkansas athletics' greatest traditions. However it is a very poor way to attract members of the opposite sex and distract bears.
4. Some physicists theorize that the universe is constantly expanding on and on into eternity. Upon seeing Razorback head coach Bret Bielema, physicists scaled down this theory to describe the Iowan's exponential body mass growth.
5. The Hogs have not won a game since September 14th, when they beat lowly Southern Mississippi 24-3. Oddly enough, this eight-game losing streak coincides with Bret Bielema's decision to name his wife's dog Lucy as offensive coordinator.
6. Related to Fact #5: Lucy employs a smash-mouth, run-first scheme, at least that's what the other assistants think since she keeps peeing on all of the playcards.
7. Arkansas is the only school in the FBS which has a porcine nickname (the students voted to make "Razorbacks" their official moniker in 1910), meaning they're the only university in college football's top flight to willingly subject themselves to over a century of bacon and ham jokes.
8. I am legally obligated by the Louisiana Administrative Code to include this video in any and all articles making fun of the Arkansas Razorbacks, and I'm very sorry about it.
9. War Memorial Stadium? You mean they couldn't name it Bore Memorial Stadium? (nailed it!)
10. Fayetteville is located in the northwestern part of Arkansas, near the Oklahoma and Missouri borders. Its geographic proximity to Columbia, MO was the SEC's only rationale for letting Missouri into the conference, granting Gary Pinkel the ability to (maybe) drunkenly drive his team all the way to Atlanta.
Thank you for getting all of your facts from the ATVS team this season. As always, we're here to educate you on opposing teams, and will return with another edition for the bowl game. Thank you for reading!