Dear Student Section,
I am very disappointed in your participation at Saturday’s game against the Auburn Tigers. Your job as a student is to one, get through school and two, to make sure your butt is in Tiger Stadium for each home game. Not just through the first quarter, but through the ENTIRE game. I've only been out of school for four years, and it’s sad to see how soft y’all have gotten. You think our three five-star recruits that came to Death Valley for the first time were impressed? Hardly! What SHOULD be our team’s biggest supporters left half way through the game all because of a little rain. What a bunch of wimps!
This was the first conference game of the year against a team who always puts up a fight. Where were you? When I was a student at LSU, we were the first to show up and the last to leave. The football team went inside before us. Through rain and shine. Through hurricanes and freezing cold weather. We were there. We were the ones who made Tim Tebow cry in the 2007 national championship run. We started the ‘You Suck’ chant. We left each game without a voice.
WHERE THE FRICK WERE YOU?!
You wonder why fewer students are getting tickets to the games? Well, figure it out, Sherlock. Tiger game tickets are a prize and should go to true fans that will support the team through rain or shine.
And before you ask, yes I was there. Until the very end. You probably saw me come across the screen on ESPN while you were already sitting on your couch in the comfort of your warm and dry home. Pathetic.
You have two weeks till Florida to get it together. Do not disappoint again, or we will be forced to soak some rags in kerosene and tie them around your ankles to stop the ants from crawling up your legs and eating your candy asses. Step up, dammit, or step out.
-Your Faithful Alums