And Now a Word from a Georgia Homer

Early Cuyler speaks about the state of the Georgia program, the 2013 season, and Saturday's game.

Whut? Wait whut the hell? WHUT Y'ALL DOIN' IN HERE? GET ON OUT IF YE KNOW WHAT'S GOOD. YOU GUBMINT FOLK AIN'T WELCOME ‘LESS YE GOT THEM THERE CHECKS WHICH AH'KIN BUY MAH DRANKIN' PARTY LIKKER WIT'.

Oh wait, you're them fancy blog folks from them innernets what want me ta prognosticanate this week's here football match-up wit' the Dawgs. HELL I LUB THEM DAMN DAWGS BUT THEY AIN'T NEVER GON' GIT OVER THAT DAMN HUMP WIT' MARK RICHT. SO MANY DAMN DISAPPOINTIN' SEASONS AND ENDINS AH SWEAR WE SHOULDA WON EIGHT DANG NASH-NUL CHAMP'NSHIPS ALREADY.

ALLS I KNOW IS WE'DA BEAT NOTE-RUH DAME LAST YEAR IF RICHT WOULDA JUST SPIKED THAT DAMN BALL IN ATLANTA LIKE AH SPIKE MY DRANKS. YA THINK A HURRY-UP WOULD WORK AGAINST NICK SABAN'S DEFENSE? YA USE YER PRAYIN' POWERS TO ASK FER SOME DIVINE INTERMISSION SO ONE'UH SABAN'S OTHER-DANG-WORLDLY HELL BEAST DEFENSIVE BACKS HOPEFULLY DONE FORGOT HOW TO PLAY THE DAMN GAME AND CAN'T SWAT A PASS NO MORE? SABAN DONE MADE A PACT WIT' DA DEVIL AND THEY DRANK UNICORN BLOOD TO SEAL IT, THAT THANG IS AIRTIGHT AND WOULD HOLD UP IN ANY COURT ON EARTH OR OTHER DIMENSHUNS IN PERPETUITAH. Y'CAN'T TEST THAT, IT'S SUICIDE.

DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ‘BOUT GETTIN' BEAT BY CLEMSON. THAT WAS THE SECOND WORST BEATIN' AH'VE WITNESSED IN SAKERLINA, THE OTHER ONE WAS THAT TIME SPURRIER DONE MADE FUNNA MUH PUTTIN' GAME. HE LEARNED THE LIT'RAL DEFINISHUN'UH "BELLY PUTTER" AFTER I DONE SHOVED IT UP HIS DANG ASS AND INTO HIS DANG COLORECTAL REGION, HELL YEAH! THAT'S WHY HE WAS WALKIN' FUNNY TWO WEEKS AGO, WOO!

ON TO THIS WEEKEND. THE LAST TIME ELL-ESS-YOU WALKED INTO SANFORD THEY DONE WON ON A BULLMESS CALL ONNA COUNT'A SOME CELEBRATIN'. AIN'T AJ GREEN'S FAULT MARK RICHT LET HIM BE GREAT. COULDN'T STOP THAT'UN EVEN IF Y'ALL DONE COMMITTED PASS INTRAVENOUS. BUT YALL HAD'TUH DONE PAID THEM DANG REFEREES. STILL HATE THAT CALL. EV'RY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT ALL I CAN DO IS KILL A CASE ‘N' RAISE SOME HELL WHAT FOR TO FORGET M'SORROWS. [I still miss you, Krystal]

2011 ESS-EE-SEE CHAMP'YUNSHIP GAME? DON'T CARE. CARE LESS THAN THAT THERE HUNNY-BADGER CARE FOR THE GOAL LINE RULES'UH FOOTBALL AND THE LESSER DRUG LAWS IN THESE U-NITED STATES. WHAT WAS WE GON' DO IF WE WON, GO TO THE SUGAR BOWL? CAIN'T GO TO THAT. LAST TIME AH WAS IN N'AWLINS I DONE BEAT PAUL PRUD...Paul Prud...THAT FAT CHEF WITH AN ALLIGATOR WHAT FOR BEIN' ALL HIGHFALUTIN' WITH HIS FANCY SCOOTER OR SOME SUCH. COME 'ROUN HERE TRYIN' MAKE US LOWER CLASS FOLK JEALOUS. I BET HE VOTES DEMOCRAT. DAMN E-GALITARIANS TRYIN'TAH TURN OUR GREAT LAND INT'AH SOME KINDA COMMUNIST STATE. YOU WANT THAT, YOU GO TO RUSSIA OR PORTLAND.

ANALYSIS FER SATURDAY? AIN'T GOT NONE. AIN'T NEED IT. ZACH METLENBERGER? WHO CARES. HE AIN'T NO AARON MURRAH. WHAT'S JEREMY HILL GON' DO, PUNCH OUR DE-FENSE IN THE DAMN HEAD? TODD GURLEY'D KICK HIS ASS ANY WHICH PLACE WHAT CALLED FOR IT, AND I'D BE THERE TO WATCH. I GOT GURLEY IN FIVE ROUNDS. ALL'S I SEE HAPP'NIN' THIS WEEK IS PAIN FER EL-ES-YOU. WHEN YOU FEEL THAT DAWG BITE, YER JUST GONNA FEEL PAIN SHOOTIN' UP FROM THE REGION WHAT WHICH YOU WAS BIT AND INTO YER BRAIN CAVITY. NO MORE NO LESS. PAIN EVERYWHERE, JUST ASK THAT DAMN WIDE RECEIVER FROM AUBURN.

SPEAKIN'A PAIN, GIT YER ASS OFF MUH PROPERTEH ‘FOR AH KICK IT UP THROUGH YER DANG HEAD. GO DAWGS, WOO!

EARLY'S FINAL SCORE PREDICKA...PREDICTATATION: UGA - 41,692. LSU - 5.

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