And The Valley Shook: FanPosts

We used to have...

2013-05-08T17:57:42Z

links on the old site to all the rest of the SEC teams' SBNation blogs. Can we get them back? Hopefully I am not just missing them, but I don't see them since the switch. It was handy having them linked on our front page because I would use them to go check news at other schools every now and then. It was easier than remembering the names of all their sites and/or googling their blog names.

LSU Complaining Too Much?

2013-04-25T15:56:34Z

Alligator Army put up a post complaining about Les Miles' comments about replacing the permanent cross-division rival with a random computer selection. The gist of the post is that LSU has gotten a lot of breaks from the SEC and needs to quit whining. Really?

I totally get the frustration from Florida fans here. The animosity towards the cross-division rival from LSU isn't really about the Florida game. Most LSU fans I know enjoy the game. The animosity really is that LSU gets Florida and USC while Alabama gets Tennessee & Mizzou; that is, LSU really is just angry at Bama & the SEC. It's pretty clear that something needs to be done to fix the scheduling in the SEC. Deciding year to year who plays whom just invites charges of favoritism against the SEC. Whether that's setting out a fixed schedule of who plays whom for the next ten years or expanding the conference slate to 9 games (which Florida opposes), the system has got to change.

It's also true that LSU, like every other team in the SEC, has benefitted tremendously from being in the SEC. We've gotten a national title (2007) as well as BCS bowl bids as a result (though this same national push arguably hurt LSU when it helped Bama earn a rematch in 2011) Clearly, LSU isn't flirting with the Big 12 anytime soon. But does this mean we should just smile and accept whatever the SEC doles out? Absolutely not.

LSU has more than paid its dues to this conference. The AA post complains that LSU has a talent rich base all to itself. Did the SEC give us that? No. The SEC didn't create talent in Louisiana. The SEC didn't create talent in Texas either, which LSU has jealously horded...oh wait. No, when the SEC wanted to expanded to include A&M and thereby eliminate the sales pitch LSU used to attract Texas talent (come play SEC ball close to home), did LSU throw a fit? Did LSU block expansion? No. We took A&M and also let the SEC take Mizzou, who adds nothing, primarily because Florida, USC, and Georgia didn't want to dilute THEIR talent-rich areas by letting more qualified FSU (or Clemson or GT) into the mix.

The post also mentions our night game tradition and how the rest of the conference "sympathizes" when LSU "clamors" for night games. Sympathy is nice, but LSU would rather have night games. Has LSU required that they get at least one SEC night game a year? No, it hasn't "for the good of the TV contract." None of LSU's SEC home slate was played at night in 2011. While Bama & Florida force the conference to rearrange the schedules to fit their traditions (3rd Saturday and the rivalry week game v. FSU), LSU has no similar ability. We have to hope that CBS either really loves a game or that CBS is so indifferent to let the game slip to ESPN but not slip enough into the SEC Network morning slot. So much good that sympathy does for us.

What is our thanks for these sacrifices? What is our thanks for being one of the top contributors to the domination of the SEC and our unprecedented national prestige? We get dumped to the Chick-fil-a Peach Bowl.

I'm tired of LSU being told "suck it up" while we bend over backwards for the rest of the conference. If Florida can't handle a 9 game conference schedule and FSU, then tough. Drop FSU from the schedule or stop complaining. Or at least make a crummy Photoshop about it

Cameron Robinson

2013-04-22T15:39:26Z

Anybody got any news or updates on that OL out of West Monroe? I've been hearing some rumblings that he's likely Bama bound, but I'm wondering if there's anything to it or if it's just fan over-reaction for him making their spring game. I hope we're able to land him. In addition to locking down this insane Louisiana haul this year, we could really use another premier O-lineman coming up the ranks.

New basketball recruit-from wafb.com

2013-04-19T23:37:24Z

Scotlandville Magnet basketball star Brian Bridgewater announced Wednesday that he will be attending LSU. His announcement was a surprise to many after reports Tuesday night said he would not be playing basketball for the Tigers.

"We are excited about the addition of Brian Bridgewater to the LSU basketball program," said LSU men's basketball head coach Johnny Jones. "With his versatility because of his size and strength, his ability to play inside and out will be an added dimension that will allow us flexibility on both ends of the floor offensively and defensively. It is always great to get student-athletes from championship caliber programs. He is part of a wonderful family, including his Mom (Debra) and his older brother (Brad) who had a very good career at LSU."

The 6'5, 220 pound senior is considered to be a 3-star power forward. He picked LSU over the likes of Arizona, Baylor, Marquette, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. Bridgewater joins a talented 2013 class that includes Jarrell Martin (5-star PF), Jordan Mickey (4-star PF), John Odo (3-star C) and Tim Quarterman (4-star PG). Darcy Malone, a 7' Center from Australia, has committed to LSU but is yet to sign a national letter-of-intent.

Mathieu claims to have failed at least 10 drug tests at LSU.

2013-04-12T15:40:11Z

And here we go.

Former LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, who was kicked off the team just months after becoming a Heisman Trophy finalist, reportedly told at least one NFL team that he failed so many drug tests in college that he couldn’t even remember them all.

An assistant coach for an NFL team told Jarrett Bell of USA Today that when that team interviewed Mathieu, he was asked how many drug tests he had failed in college.

“I quit counting at 10,” Mathieu answered. “I really don’t know.”

And here we go.

Former LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, who was kicked off the team just months after becoming a Heisman Trophy finalist, reportedly told at least one NFL team that he failed so many drug tests in college that he couldn’t even remember them all.

An assistant coach for an NFL team told Jarrett Bell of USA Today that when that team interviewed Mathieu, he was asked how many drug tests he had failed in college.

“I quit counting at 10,” Mathieu answered. “I really don’t know.”

Mark Emmert expose at USA today

2013-04-04T01:45:19Z

What do you guys think about this?

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaab/2013/04/02/ncaa-president-emmert-previous-cases-uconn-lsu/2047607/

http://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2013/4/3/4176742/mark-emmert-ncaa-president-usa-today

The picture painted in these articles is that Emmert is either completely incompetent or really corrupt. Maybe both? It also talks about his trendsetting moves at LSU - negative trends - of setting pay records for University Presidents and college coaches.

What do you guys think about this?

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaab/2013/04/02/ncaa-president-emmert-previous-cases-uconn-lsu/2047607/

http://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2013/4/3/4176742/mark-emmert-ncaa-president-usa-today

Justin Hamilton update

2013-03-01T11:24:37Z

Remember center Justin Hamilton from last season's LSU basketball squad?

After getting drafted by the Miami Heat he started his pro career overseas in Croatia. In mid-season he left his Croatian team Cibona to join Latvian club VEF Riga.

Here's one recent interview with him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WG5rBQRlJ3c

Some information about JH's new team:http://www.eurobasket.com/team.asp?Cntry=Latvia&Team=11680&Page=1

Here are his stats from this season:

http://basketball.eurobasket.com/player/Justin_Hamilton/VEF_Riga/163527

Some information about JH's new team:http://www.eurobasket.com/team.asp?Cntry=Latvia&Team=11680&Page=1

Here are his stats from this season:

http://basketball.eurobasket.com/player/Justin_Hamilton/VEF_Riga/163527

Did anyone else see this "all Southernors are racists idiots" SBN post?

2013-02-09T18:57:13Z

http://www.blackshoediaries.com/2013/2/8/3964848/urban-meyer-ohio-state-penn-state-recruiter

I thought about posting something relatively snarky but true like, "we may have some morons, but at least our players and coaches would know what to do if they caught a pedophile in the shower," but figured it would be counter productive.

In any case, the post started as a rant against Urban Meyer (which I heartily support) but became a 300 comment post about why the Big1 is better than everyone else because of AAU schools and how the SEC wins are all because of oversigning and redneck cousins.

Thoughts?

http://www.blackshoediaries.com/2013/2/8/3964848/urban-meyer-ohio-state-penn-state-recruiter

Thoughts?

Tech sidebar

2013-01-29T23:51:04Z

After having the same cell phone for about 150 years, I finally upgraded to a smart phone the other day. I have a lot of catching up to do with mobile technology, but a man has to have his priorities straight, so I gotta make sure my LSU news working like it's supposed to. So, if yall could help me with a few things without laughing at me, that'd be awesome.

First thing I noticed was ATVS looks different on my phone than on my PC. Mainly, the headlines don't have photos and are grouped all vertically, one under the other. Is that normal or should I have pictures on the main page? If I click on a story, then it has a pic with it. Secondly, I'm just accessing ATVS via a browser, but then I wondered if there's some kind of SBN or ATVS app or something I should be running instead.

I know these are silly questions, but just bear with me while I get the hang of the 21st century.

LSU Running Backs' Modes

2013-01-14T03:42:39Z

So I saw that GeauxTiger requested this, and I was pretty curious myself so...being a slow Sunday...I spent a couple of hours and put the following together. I apologize for the formatting in advance, I'm copying it straight from word (so if any of the editors want to clean it up if that's an easy thing to do then go for it). I'm just putting this here, you can make what you will of it. Haha hopefully someone sees it since the fanposts are so far down the page now.

I just did the SEC games, so there's an 8 game sample. I broke it down by going through the play-by-play of all the games from ESPN.com, so that's where the numbers come from. The game by game numbers I'm pretty confident are accurate, with the SEC totals it's possible I made some mistakes transferring everything together, but I think it's all accurate. I didn't count Mettenberger because I didn't want to figure out what was a sack/scramble/called run. I also counted all running plays that I saw, regardless of penalties. So, for example, if Hill had a 25 yard run that was called back for holding, I just put the 25 yard run in.

I have plenty of thoughts, both from these numbers and from reading the play by plays, but I'm going to put them in the comments so people can specifically address (or ignore haha) each one as they choose.

(As I'm clicking preview I'm seeing a bunch of computer jargon regarding the formatting right below this...just keep scrolling cause I don't know how to get rid of it)

SEC Totals

Overview/Summary

Hilliard: 37 rushes, mode of 3 yards (7 times), 1 yard (6 times), and 2 yards (5 times)

Hill: 120 rushes, mode of 2 yards (19 times), 1 yard (18 times), and 3 yards (16 times)

Ford: 39 rushes, mode of 4 yards (7 times), 5 yards (6 times), and 6 yards (4 times)

Ware: 74 rushes, mode of 2 yards (14 times), 4 yards (9 times), and 1/3/5 yards (7 times each)

Shepard: 15 rushes, mode of 3 yards (5 times), 1/2/4 yards (2 times each)

Magee: 1 rush, mode of 0

Copeland: 14 rushes, mode of 3 yards (4 times), 0/1 yard (3 times each), and 4 yards (twice)

Season Breakdown

Hilliard:

-5: l

-2: ll

-1: ll

0: lll

1: V l

2: V

3: V ll

4: llll

9: l

11: l

12: ll

13: l

14: l

17: l

Hill:

-5: l

-3: llll

-2: l

-1: l

0: V llll

1: XV lll

2: XV llll

3: XV l

4: X ll

5: V ll

6: V l

7: V l

8: ll

9: V

10: lll

14: l

16: l

18: l

19: llll

27: l

47: l

50: l

Ford:

-2: ll

0: lll

1: ll

2: ll

3: lll

4: V ll

5: V l

6: llll

7: l

8: ll

9: l

10: l

11: l

13: ll

18: l

20: l

Ware:

-4: l

-3: l

-2: llll

-1: lll

0: V l

1: V ll

2: X llll

3: V ll

4: V llll

5: V ll

6: V

7: lll

9: ll

11: ll

12: l

28: l

30: l

Copeland:

-1: l

0: lll

1: lll

3: llll

4: ll

9: l

Shepard:

0: l

1: ll

2: ll

3: V

4: ll

5: l

11: l

19: l

Magee:

0: l

Game by Game

Auburn

Game totals: 38 rushes

Mode (most commonly occurring):

1. 4 yards (8 times)

2. 2 yards (7 times)

3. 3 yards (5 times)

Hilliard: Mode: 2 yards
0: 1
1: 1
2: 3
3: 2
4: 1
11: 1
12: 1
Hill: N/A
Ford: Mode: 3 yards
0: 1
1: 1
3: 2
4: 1
5: 1
8: 1
18: 1
Ware: Mode: 2 and 4 yards
-3: 1
-2: 1
1: 2
2: 4
4: 4
5: 1
6: 1
28: 1
30: 1
Copeland: Mode: 1 and 4 yards
1: 1
4: 1
Shepard: Mode: 3 and 4 yards
3: 1
4: 1

Florida

Game totals: 21 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (6 times)

2. 2 yards (3 times)

3. 0 yards (3 times
Hilliard: Mode: everything the same
-2: l
0: l
2: l
3: l
13: l
Hill: Mode: everything the same
3: l
5: l
Ford: Mode: everything the same
-2: l
3: l
4: l
9: l
Ware: Mode: 3 yards
0: l
1: l
2: l
3: lll
4: l
5: l
Shepard: Mode: 2 yards
2: l
Magee: Mode: 0 yards
0: l
Copeland: N/A

South Carolina

Game totals: 51 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (6 times)

2. 6 yards (5 times)

3. 7 yards and 4 yards (4 times each)
Hilliard: Mode: 1 and 4 yards
-5: l
-2: l
-1: l
0: l
1: ll
4: ll
14: l
17: l
Hill: Mode: 3 yards
0: l
1: lll
2: ll
3: llll
4: l
6: l
7: l
9: l
10: l
19: l
50: l
Ford: Mode: 6 yards
0: l
4: l
5: l
6: ll
7: l
13: l
Ware: Mode: 2 yards
-1: l
0: ll
2: lll
3: l
5: ll
6: ll
7: ll
11: l
Copeland: Mode: everything the same
0: l
3: l
9: l
Shepard: N/A
Magee: N/A

Texas A&M

Game totals: 41 rushes

Mode:

1. 1 yard (6 times)

2. 2 yards (5 times) and 5 yards (5 times)

3. 3 yards (4 times)
Hilliard: Mode: 1 yard
1: ll
3: l
Hill: Mode: 2 yards
0: ll
1: l
2: llll
3: ll
5: l
6: ll
7: ll
8: ll
18: l
47: l
Ford: Mode: 4 and 5 yards
1: l
2: l
4: ll
5: ll
6: l
8: l
10: l
13: l
20: l
Ware: Mode: 5 yards
-2: l
-1: l
0: l
1: l
3: l
4: l
5: ll
Copeland: Mode: 1 yard
1: l
Shepard: N/A
Magee: N/A

Alabama

Game totals: 45 rushes

Mode:

1. 2 yards (11 times)

2. 4 yards (10 times)

3. 1 yard (6 times)

4. Negative rushes (4 times)
Hilliard: N/A
Hill: Mode: 2 and 4 yards
-5: l
-3: l
0: l
1: V
2: V ll
3: l
4: V ll
5: ll
7: l
10: l
19: ll
Ford: Mode: everything the same
2: l
5: l
6: l
Ware: Mode: 2 and 4 yards
-2: l
0: l
2: ll
3: l
4: ll
Copeland: Mode: everything the same
-1: l
3: l
4: l
Shepard: Mode: everything the same
1: l
2: l
19: l
Magee: N/A

Mississippi State

Game totals: 36 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (10 times)

2. 4 and 5 yards (4 times each)

3. 1 yard and negative rushes (3 times each)
Hilliard: Mode: everything the same
1: l
3: l
4: l
9: l
12: l
Hill: Mode: 3 yards
-2: l
0: ll
2: ll
3: V
4: ll
5: l
9: ll
Ford: Mode: 5 yards
5: l
Ware: Mode: everything the same
-4: l
-2: l
2: l
5: l
12: l
Copeland: Mode: everything the same
0: l
1: l
Shepard: Mode: 3 yards
1: l
3: llll
4: l
5: l
11: l
Magee: N/A

Ole Miss

Game totals: 35 rushes

Mode:

1. 1 yard (7 times)

2. Negative rushes (4 times)

3. 0 yards, 6 yards, and 7 yards (3 times each)
Hilliard: Mode: -1 yard
-1: l
Hill: Mode: 1 yard
-3: lll
0: l
1: V
2: ll
3: ll
5: ll
6: l
7: ll
14: l
16: l
27: l
Ford: Mode: 4 yards
0: l
4: ll
11: l
Ware: Mode: 1 and 6 yards
1: ll
6: ll
7: l
9: l
11: l
Copeland: Mode: 0 yards
0: l
Shepard: Mode: 0 yards
0: l
Magee: N/A

Arkansas

Game totals: 33 rushes

Mode:

1. 2 yards and 3 yards (6 times each)

2. 1 yard (5 times)

3. Negative rushes, 0 yards, 4 yards, and 9 yards (3 times each)
Hilliard: Mode: 3 yards
2: l
3: ll
Hill: Mode: 1 yard
-1: l
0: ll
1: llll
2: ll
3: l
4: ll
6: ll
9: ll
10: l
19: l
Ford: Mode: -2 yards
-2: l (on 4th down and 1)
Ware: Mode: 2 yards
-1: l
0: l
1: l
2: lll
3: l
4: l
9: l
Copeland: Mode: 3 yards
3: ll
Shepard: N/A
Magee: N/A

(As I'm clicking preview I'm seeing a bunch of computer jargon regarding the formatting right below this...just keep scrolling cause I don't know how to get rid of it)

SEC Totals

Overview/Summary

Hilliard: 37 rushes, mode of 3 yards (7 times), 1 yard (6 times), and 2 yards (5 times)

Hill: 120 rushes, mode of 2 yards (19 times), 1 yard (18 times), and 3 yards (16 times)

Ford: 39 rushes, mode of 4 yards (7 times), 5 yards (6 times), and 6 yards (4 times)

Ware: 74 rushes, mode of 2 yards (14 times), 4 yards (9 times), and 1/3/5 yards (7 times each)

Shepard: 15 rushes, mode of 3 yards (5 times), 1/2/4 yards (2 times each)

Magee: 1 rush, mode of 0

Copeland: 14 rushes, mode of 3 yards (4 times), 0/1 yard (3 times each), and 4 yards (twice)

Season Breakdown

Hilliard:

-5: l

-2: ll

-1: ll

0: lll

1: V l

2: V

3: V ll

4: llll

9: l

11: l

12: ll

13: l

14: l

17: l

Hill:

-5: l

-3: llll

-2: l

-1: l

0: V llll

1: XV lll

2: XV llll

3: XV l

4: X ll

5: V ll

6: V l

7: V l

8: ll

9: V

10: lll

14: l

16: l

18: l

19: llll

27: l

47: l

50: l

Ford:

-2: ll

0: lll

1: ll

2: ll

3: lll

4: V ll

5: V l

6: llll

7: l

8: ll

9: l

10: l

11: l

13: ll

18: l

20: l

Ware:

-4: l

-3: l

-2: llll

-1: lll

0: V l

1: V ll

2: X llll

3: V ll

4: V llll

5: V ll

6: V

7: lll

9: ll

11: ll

12: l

28: l

30: l

Copeland:

-1: l

0: lll

1: lll

3: llll

4: ll

9: l

Shepard:

0: l

1: ll

2: ll

3: V

4: ll

5: l

11: l

19: l

Magee:

0: l

Game by Game

Auburn

Game totals: 38 rushes

Mode (most commonly occurring):

1. 4 yards (8 times)

2. 2 yards (7 times)

3. 3 yards (5 times)

Game totals: 21 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (6 times)

2. 2 yards (3 times)

Game totals: 51 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (6 times)

2. 6 yards (5 times)

Game totals: 41 rushes

Mode:

1. 1 yard (6 times)

2. 2 yards (5 times) and 5 yards (5 times)

Game totals: 45 rushes

Mode:

1. 2 yards (11 times)

2. 4 yards (10 times)

3. 1 yard (6 times)

Game totals: 36 rushes

Mode:

1. 3 yards (10 times)

2. 4 and 5 yards (4 times each)

Game totals: 35 rushes

Mode:

1. 1 yard (7 times)

2. Negative rushes (4 times)

Game totals: 33 rushes

Mode:

1. 2 yards and 3 yards (6 times each)

2. 1 yard (5 times)

Poll

Which of LSU's running backs do you think should have received more carries?

Jeremy Hill

8 votes

Michael Ford

4 votes

Kenny Hilliard

3 votes

Spencer Ware

0 votes

15 votes | Poll has closed

Why Miles has to go

2013-01-08T17:05:04Z

I've watched LSU err on the side of caution for too long. Miles has not instilled in the players a will to win with his coaching. Miles is like Charlie McClendon of the LSU 70's. Remember that coach; run it up the middle, run it up the middle, run it up the middle and then punt. LSU has gotten so lackluster and so predictable that the SEC teams have the LSU playbook memorized. Our QB, Zack, tries his hardest but is then reined in by Miles. What gives? I remember when Bear Bryant said that LSU has more talent than anyone and "That if I could have all of LSU's redshirts, I would have a national championship team". LSU has the talent; what we need is quality coaching. Don't pay Miles until he starts winning the big games. Where is our Athletic Director and why is he so quiet?

Geaux Navy! Beat Army!

2012-12-07T10:25:42Z

No apologies Katt. No apologies ArmyTiger. I know you and your sorry ilk are out there. For my dear friends who are sons of John Adams, the father of the United States Navy, and for the sons in the Brotherhood of Belleau Wood, Go Navy! Most of all, for my friends Josh and Jon! Let fly the Navy Jack! Ever may the rampant snake over red & white field wave! Don't Tread On Me!

...and go to hell Ole Miss

Nick Saban doesn't believe Florida should play in a BCS game without winning the East. Mind = blown.

2012-11-26T22:19:26Z

Insane arrogance.

There are high stakes for the upcoming SEC championship game between No. 2 Alabama and No. 3 Georgia.

The winner will play for a national title. The loser likely will slip out of the BCS bowls entirely, falling behind No. 4 Florida. That would put the Gators in the Sugar Bowl.

Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban does not think that is fair.

“It’s not really a great scenario,” he said Sunday on a teleconference. “You play your way into the (SEC) championship game, which means you’re the best team in your division… It doesn’t seem quite right, but it is what it is. I don’t really know what me commenting about it is going to do to change it. But I don’t feel good about it.”

Insane arrogance.

There are high stakes for the upcoming SEC championship game between No. 2 Alabama and No. 3 Georgia.

The winner will play for a national title. The loser likely will slip out of the BCS bowls entirely, falling behind No. 4 Florida. That would put the Gators in the Sugar Bowl.

Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban does not think that is fair.

“It’s not really a great scenario,” he said Sunday on a teleconference. “You play your way into the (SEC) championship game, which means you’re the best team in your division… It doesn’t seem quite right, but it is what it is. I don’t really know what me commenting about it is going to do to change it. But I don’t feel good about it.”

Ole Miss sucks so bad Hell doesn't want them.

2012-11-14T22:27:18Z

I hate them because they hold themselves up as some higher class compared to us. What?! You're the University of Mississippi. You're not an ivy or even UPenn or Stanford. You're a school in Mississippi. That means you suck, no matter how much you dress it up.

I hate them because they are really dumb when it comes to partying. Lemme tell ya something, if you took a fraction, a very small fraction, of the tailgating at LSU and smushed it into the Quad, it would be loud and huge and crazy. So the Grove isn't anything but bad planning and stupidity. Never lost a party my ass. You lose to us every damned week.

I hate the contrived food you bring out at your tailgate that you pay other people to set up. It's boring food that's done all over the place but you put it on a lace doily and think your king and queen shit of cooking. You're not. You suck. My dog is better at creating things on the kitchen floor and all he has to work with food I accidentally leave out on the counter.

Back to the class thing. We're all kinds of people down here. Protestant and Catholic, coonass and redneck, Irish and Italian and WASP and creole and black and vietnamese. And the result of all that is badass culture: food, music, good times, drinking, more food, fried food, spicy food, seafood, more booze and all kinds of awesome history. Mississippi is an afterthought. And yet, we're the trashy ones. Yeah our shitty tshirt fans and sidewalk alumni aren't that great. But greatness attracts all kinds of people. And that's southern Louisiana and LSU: greatness. The only reason we don't have a six flags is because we don't want Texas to feel boring and vanilla.

I hate them because they chickened out of being the Rebels full time. Grab what little balls your sorority wife and her Mrs. degree hadn't already snatched up and be the Rebs. You make ads with the word rebel in it. You have all kinds of stuff with rebel on it or in it. But nope, gonna be a little bitch and cave in on your tradition and history just cause. You don't see us changing too much. We'll have our tiger forever. We use it to teach all the cute little kids that show up about conservation. Sometimes you just be yourself and fuck the naysayers. Not Ole Miss, just bitched out like your team did last year.

Oh I was there. I tried to convince your dumb asses, against my better judgement, to try and convince yall to hire Leach. Nope. Yall wanted a clone to try and reproduce what Miles and Saban do: power running and suffocating defense. Must be that awesome education that keeps you from seeing there's not gonna be enough recruits to even try that. But speaking of the game, I walked by myself through the student section and never caught one word of abuse. I felt safe, happy, like I owned the place. And you know what? We did. We own it and we own you.

So I would tell you to go to hell, but the Devil don't wantcha because you're too damn boring, uncharismatic, stupid and weak.

Geaux to Hell Ole Miss

2012-11-14T20:40:12Z

On another board I used to start a "Geaux to Hell Ole Miss" thread every year. Unfortunately I lost the first few in the Great Hard Drive Crash of '09, but here's a brief one from 2009 (must've been busy that week) and a regular length one from 2010. I didn't do one last year, because....why bother? There were no Ole Miss fans around for me to agitate anyway. I guess you should probably understand that while I'm still only in my early 30's, the Ole Miss game is the one my dad always took me to when I was a boy. He hated Ole Miss passionately, and he passed it on to me. For me, the Ole Miss game is still a really big deal and I hate losing to them. The first few were real winners because there were several Ole Miss fans around back then for me to really get into it with, and I fought them with every bit of prose in my body. Sadly they are now lost forever. If I get around to writing on this week, I'll add it on here. Anyway, enjoy.

4th annual GtHOM thread. (2009)

I know you guys are bitter and depressed about being so hyped pre-season only to find once again that your team has only a pipe dream of winning the SEC in the forseeable future, and being relegated once again to media-forgotten afterthoughts.

But take heart. I still know you're out there. And I hate you.

And that's worth something, right?

Your inability to make a dent in this conference in God knows how long hasn't changed anything. Not even your failure to make this series competitive in my lifetime has softened my stance towards you goofy backwoods Rebels.

And that brings up another point. Rebels. WTF even IS that??? What are yall rebelling against? Success? A trip to Atlanta? A QB not named Manning to amount to anything? If so, well played.

At least I can thank you for beating us last year. I had nearly forgotten you guys were out there, and that gesture of sportsmanship reminded us all not to forget our weak sisters to the north.

I'd say good luck this week, but yall's recent history against us on your home field is as pathetic as Clay Aiken's music career. Tell your Texas-reject quarterback that super-awesome 2006 Texas A&M squad said hello. And let Dexter McCluster know that Trindon Holiday is available for counseling afterwards, he is somewhat familiar with being a little guy smacked around by large defenders.

And tell your coach to give his team another pre-game pep talk about just giving him the first 15 minutes against dem Tigahs. For old time's sake.

Silly Rebels. Vols are for kids.

Geaux to hell, Ole Miss.

5th Annual GtHOM thread (2010)

I see what you did here, and I have to say: Nice try, but no.

Your efforts to plunge your program into heretofore uncharted depths of irrelevance and, well, just overall suckiness, do not go unnoticed. And hey, I for one think you are to be applauded for your efforts towards obscurity. This season has been a fine craftsmanship of ineptitude the likes of which we've rarely ever seen.

What I'm trying to say is, you've really outdone yourself this time.

But the fatal flaw (if there could only be only one when referring to the wreck that is your program) is this: you can't be so obvious about it. We get it. Some people are born princes, some are born paupers. Ole Miss fans (--well, there's debate over whether you're born at all, or merely hatched) are no doubt so weary of the embarrassments heaped upon them time after time that they aspire to nothing else than to be forgotten in the footnotes of history. I say again, we get it. But there's something to be said for moderation. Not drawing attention to yourself. At this point, it's almost unbelievable to all but the untrained eye. You know....the one at the middle of our field your future inmates think it's cute to stomp on every other pre-game.

Let's just look at the ways you've disappointed me this year.

The only SEC West team to fail to hit at least 2-1 vs. the Cesspool of Inadequacy that is the SEC East? Check. That's an embarrassment, a blight on our division, and make no mistake, we're not alone. We'd ALL trade you for Vandy if we could. At least Vandy brings academics to the table.

Right......which reminds me. Vandy. Beat you. At home in the Grove. Under normal circumstances I'd be trying to hide a giggle to see if anybody gets the joke. Alas, to the shame of all of us in the West, nobody but Vanderbilt and their long-suffering faithful are laughing.

Staying in the state of Tennessee, how 'bout that team named for said state? 99 out of 100 years, I don't get to say this, but losing to UT is even worse. And here's an example of where you're going wrong with all this. It's not just that you lost. It's that you got annihilated. Losing is one thing. Fine, off the radar. But everybody knows you're trying to sink the ship when you let them force entry to your posterior with no lubrication. I mean, LSU, with our Offense Of A Thousand Sorrows, toyed around with the idea of losing to UT, but you.......you actually did it. I don't know whether to shake my head and throw a rose on your casket or applaud you for the sheer ballsiness of that milestone in your campaign of failure.

Of course, I suppose we should first back up to the initial red flag that warned us all you were endeavoring to new heights in the Shenanigans department. I speak, of course, of Jacksonville State. Ryan Perrilloux doesn't even play there anymore. Did the calendar get mixed up somewhere in the front office? Did you guys take that damned “Turn your clocks back 3 seconds in LA” schtick so far so many times that you're now off by a year? Are we to believe the ghost of a former Tiger is now all it takes to make the Artist Formerly Known As Rebels roll over and submit? Plausibility. Learn it, love it, and for the love of God, find some when you're intentionally going to cut off your nose to spite your face. Remember, the insurance company doesn't pay if you advertise to them you burned the house down on purpose.

I mean......I'm running out of ways to express my disbelief. Even your pre-season antics of hiring (scratch that......”offering a 2nd chance to a misunderstood young man) an embattled quarterback with legal and NCAA clearance problems got eclipsed by a far more interesting embattled quarterback on the Plains. One that actually is worth the trouble. One that actually wins games for his team. This is what its come to now? You can't even win a war of public relations nightmares?

But enough of that. The point is not to dwell on the Yes We Cams, but rather the Rebels We Ain't.

During all this, you finally found time to rename yourselves as I've been suggesting for years. You'll remember I often wondered what the hell you were ever rebelling against, and the only serviceable answer I was ever able to come up with was success. So you finally get around to this program-defining task, and you come up with......Bears? I would've suggested Rats, since fans on this board seem to have abandoned this sinking ship long ago (always a sure sign of what's coming, when the rats disembark). Or maybe even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles—something kids find fun, but eventually they grow up and realize it's not worth staying interested in. But okay....Bears. Well, I suppose it's only fitting to align yourself with Baylor, perennial doormats of their own conference.

Oh, but wait. Baylor is actually better than you this year. Seems they don't want to be in your company any more than we do, and it inspired them to get up and go bowling, something that means nothing more than a night at the campus alley to your players.

It disgusts me that you even want to run this campaign, let alone run it so poorly and blatantly and without even any remote means of plausibility.

This, perhaps more than anything else, is why we just don't like you.

Or maybe it's because you spend every waking second hating us.

Chicken and the egg at this point, though it's clear the Program Penis Envy is only unidirectional.

And there it is, more than anything else.

I know you do all this on purpose, to irritate us. There can be no other explanation. Nobody is THAT screwed up on accident. No, that takes planning and a concerted team effort. You have to have help from higher up, from your Athletic Director, all the way down to your waterboys.

I hate you because you're not trying anymore. I hate you for sticking yourselves in with the rest of us and then rarely living up to your end of the bargain. I hate you because you've turned the Magnolia Bowl into meaningless tripe in which we can only laugh at ourselves if we lose, and gain nothing if we win. I hate you because, win or lose, you've taken history worth savoring and taken a dump on it, and then attempt to throw it in our face any rare chance you get. I hate you because when we, LSU, end your chances at going bowling this weekend, you won't even have the decency or humanity left to care.

I hate you for what you are. I hate you for what you aren't.

Because despite everything else you fail to live up to, you somehow manage to still be worth despising.

And I oblige.