Stuart, lead it off!
"LSU! Auburn! ATVS throwin' it down straight haiku style! HOLLA!"
Well, then! Giddyup.
Without further ado, and borrowing from the excellent precedent set by ESPN's TMQ, the official ATVS 2006 "I Hate Auburn" Haiku Preview:
Intro: What is "The opposite of an Ode," Alex?
Trailer parks for dorms,
Corndog-intolerant fools.
Lo! I hate Auburn.
<---- Trying to push this upside-down logo thing to the Tipping Point; Horns fans need company lately.
A is for Akademmiks
Sociology:
Not to be confused with work!
Foul, the Auburn stench.
Fun with Mascots
War Eagle? Tiger?
Confusion doth reign supreme!
"Inbred" fits the bill.
<---- With some exceptions, natch
L'Eau de Auburn
We are Bayou Trash?
Fetid, thy name is Auburn!
Petrino...'nuff said.
Crystal Balls (aka 2003 vs 2004)
What's there left to say?
Citadel wasn't good call.
At least we got ours!
Mind Games
You whine 'bout respect?
Yet you carry three ranking??
War Damn Idiots!
1988: Earthquake
Thus it was written:
Hodson to Fuller for game.
And the Valley Shook!
2004
Extra extra point?
We could have used one too, ref.
Kicker made us cry
2005
Five kicks off the mark
Kenny's two bills not enough
Kicker made them cry
A Palindromic Ode to Voting for the New Clock Rule
Tommy Tuberville
Lively brute; M-O-T-M?
(Moron of the Month?)
<---- What Tommy thinks of clocks.
Les Miles
Guess what I need now?
Change of possession time-outs!
Retroactive, please.
<---- Just a year ahead of his time, was all
Last Week: Cartman Pontificates on AU-MSU
MSU is coo!
OH MY GOD, THEY STOPPED KENNY!!!
Yet, Croom's suck prevails.
Last Week: Hoops only two months away, UA!
Stomp OUR hallowed Eye?
'Zona: you're no football school.
Forty five to three.
This week: Gameday's Overrated, Anyway
Herbilocks: A plague!
Get him to a nunnery...
We can do without.
The Game: Auburn Line Depletion
Troy and Marcus gone?
Brandon Cox, meet Glenn Dorsey.
Hope it's tasty grass!
<---- Change large white guy in white helmet to large black guy in yellow helmet.
The LSU secondary
Lost top three wideouts?
Sixteen for forty won't fly;
Landry's prepped for feast!
Kenny Says, Interviewing is F-U-N-N!
Know why that's funny?
I'll tell you why that's funny:
Because it's funny!
But Seriously, Kenny Irons is superhuman
Two eighteen last year!
K.I. giving Bo P fits.
Yeah, he must work out!
Auburn's ex-LSU defensive coordinator
Muschamp sans St. Nick?
Dolphins could do without him!
QEDMF!
<---- You had me at QEDMF
What You See Ain't What You Get
"Whitworth et al - gone!
Time to tee off on Russell!"
Drops you like a rock.
Ode to Lasik Surgery
Plainsmen in the dust!
Legally blind no longer,
Bowe knows endzones now.
Jacob Hester, Happy to Be Here
Broussard! Vincent! Scott!
Myriad backs to choose from;
White boy soars 'bove all.
Prediction!
Cannot jinx my team!
Reason goes out the window:
Auburn wins by three.