The union remodeling is nearly complete. HUZZAH HUZZAH!
What's more, the scattered Pizza Hut stalls (Tiger Lair, 459 Outtakes, Pierre's Landing) are turning into Papa John's stalls. I don't know about you, but I find Papa John's much more tasty than Pizza Hut, so this is awesome news. Except for my arteries, which are bracing themselves for the re-entry of garlic sauce in my life. Hoo boy.
And there's a bowling alley, and I thoroughly enjoy bowling. I hope there's plenty of lanes, or it's open 24 hours. I'd gladly wake up at (or stay awake until) three in the morning to go bowling with my friends.
And there's Einstein Bros. Bagels. A full Einstein Bros. stall and not some clear pantry with bagels in it. I kinda wish their Everythings included chocolate chips.
From the email:
LSU Dining Construction Update
Due to construction delays, our newest dining hall – The 5 – will unfortunately not be opening. Highland Dining Hall will remain open until The 5 is completed. Please see operating hours below.
Um...
...
The 5?
The 5?
What was wrong with "Pentagon Dining Hall"?
The 5?
What, is it supposed to be clever?
Developer 1: This dining facility needs a new name.
Developer 2: Yeah, because "Pentagon Dining Hall" is just too convenient for the students.
Developer 1: Pondering... pondering...
Developer 2: Thinking... thinking...
Developer 1: Hey, you know what?
Developer 2: What?
Developer 1: Did you know that a pentagon has five sides?
Developer 2: Well duh, everybody knows...
Developer 1: ...
*a pregnant pause, comparable to the one just moments before the big bang*
Developers 1 and 2 in sweet, sweet, unison: THE 5!
Developer 1: It's so deep!
Developer 2: Yeah, a pentagon has five sides, and this is The 5!
Developer 1: It's like a puzzle. It's such an obtuse name.
Developer 2: Ha! Just like the angles of a Pentagon! They are obtuse because they are larger than 90 degrees!
Developer 1: Imagine if, like, Einstein or Leonardo Da Vinci or Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting saw this name.
Developer 2: Whoa, it's The 5, and there's the Pentagon nearby... it's like a riddle... hmm...
Developer 1: The great riddle of The 5 will attract the brightest students and the world's elite scholars to Louisiana State University!
Developer 2: This is the kind of thing that can CHANGE
Developer 1: THE
Developer 2: WOOORRRRRLLLLLDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!
Developer 1: Genius
Developer 2: Genius
Developer 1: GENIUS, I SAY, GENIUS!
Developer 2: Go us.
Developer 1: Let's go get ice cream to celebrate our genius
Developer 2: I'll have FIVE scoops please. Get it?
Developer 1: No... OHHHH! You're saying Five scoops just like "The 5"! You can't outsmart me!
Developer 2: Whatever... YAY!
Developer 1: YAY!
Developer 2: YAY!
*the two skip and frolic their way into legend. The 5 would go on to be named one of the seven wonders of the world before it was knocked down and replaced by The 6.
But seriously.
First the 459 Commons (I still don't get that one) and now, um, The 5. Are we planning on turning all our buildings into numbers?
Will the Union be 47? Will Coates Hall be 821? Will Kirby-Smith be 666? Will Middleton be 69?
Come on, people. These buildings deserve real names.