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LSU vs. Alabama Hype, As Interpreted by Old-School Pro Wrestlers, Part 2

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Tony Schiavone: Well folks, we are just a little more than a week away from one of the greatest nights in the history of our sport, live from Bryant-Denny Stadium, in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. And here to talk about what is sure one of the most explosive collisions in history, is none other than "Ravishing" Rick Rude!


"Ravishing" Rick Rude: Cut the music! What I'd like to have right now, is for all you fat...out of shape...Crimson Tide Cream Puffs...Keep the noise down, while I take my robe off, and show all the ladies in the audience what a real sexy man, is supposed to look like. Hit the music... 

/removes robe. Poses, gyrates hips while the crowd boos lustily.
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Schiavone: Ravishing Rick, it's just nine days away, the Capstone Collision...

Rude: Schiavone, on Saturday, November 5, those sow-sucking slobs in Alabama are gonna get a real up-close look at the man every woman wants, and every man wants to be. Real close. The sexiest man alive is going to get right up in your face, smack you hard in the mouth, and there ain't one damn thing you can do about it. You see, this is the body of one of the best-conditioned athletes in the world, and this is the mind of a man that takes what he wants, when he wants.

How does it feel Alabama? How does it feel to know that your woman spends her every waking moment thinking about me? How does it feel, to know that I'm coming to your house to give you the beating of your life? Does it give you nightmares? Are you having trouble sleeping? Well you better get some rest now, because at the Capstone Collision, you are in for one. Rude. Awakening.