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LSU-Alabama Hype Week: Presented by Old-School Pro Wrestlers

We once again take it back to the old school to promo Saturday's big showdown in Death Valley.

By Billy Gomila

Ed. Note: Some of y'all might remember these from last year. I figure one good turn deserved another.

Gordon Solie: Ladies and gentlemen, it's nearly that time -- we are just six days away from the Red Stick Rumble. Here at this time to talk about next weekend's big event, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes.


Dusty Rhodes: I'd like to thank Mista Gordon Solie for givin' me this platform. And I'd like to thank the Southeaste'n Confewence, for givin' me this oppatoonity to go one las' round. With the Alabama Cwimson Tide.

Ladies and gentlemen, ‘leven months ago, the Cwimson Tiiide, put hard times on Dusty Rhodes. They lef me beaten. They lef me bwoken. But they lef me bweathin'. Folks...the American Dream...he knows somethin' about hard times. We ALLLL...know somethin' about hard times. Hard times, is when you workin' two jobs to provide fo' yo' family. Hard times...is when you can't make the rent that month, and you got a lil bity baby that's sick, and needs some medicine. The American Dream...I ain't neva had no silvah spoon in MY mouth. I ain't neva HAD nobody hand me an oppatoonity! Ain't neva HAD to take things the easy route! DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT IT!

But the American Dream knows somethin'. About. Hard times. And on Saturday, Alabama, Imma put hard times on you. You know, they tell me "Dream, you just ain't got it this year. You ain't as good as you was last year." Maybe they right. But I had people tellin' me I ain't been good enough for a looooong time, ya see. They tell me I ain't nobody, just a nothin-havin' son of a plummah. But I know this. When we step ‘tween them ropes, none of it matters. It's just you. And me. And you ain't got nowhere to go. And you gon' SEE. What hard tiiiiimes. Is like.

Imma do it for me! Imma do it fo' that person that's strugglin' to make rent! For that person tha's tryin' to feed his family! And on Saturday, ladies and gentlemen, all I want is for each and every single one of you to STAYAND UP WIT' ME! ‘CAUSE IMMA STAYAND UP FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! Thank you, and I love you all!