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Yup, the AP Poll Is Still Dumb

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Those AP voters crack Tharold Simon up.  Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-US PRESSWIRE
Those AP voters crack Tharold Simon up. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-US PRESSWIRE

I am contractually obligated to complain about the AP poll which came out this weekend. Now, I put as much stock into the preseason AP poll as I put into Psychic Friends Network. Getting upset at the AP poll doesn't reflect poorly on the AP poll, it reflects poorly on you. I mean, there are far more important things in life to worry about like, "Am I drinking enough water?" or "What has Miley Cyrus done with her hair?" or "Why does my wife enjoy crappy reality shows so much?"

Especially the reality show thing. That actually impacts my life. Have you sat through a Toddlers and Tiara marathon? It's enough to make you seriously reconsider your marriage. How could I have married a person so seemingly intelligent who watches BY CHOICE something this awful?

Anyway, as you already likely know, LSU was #1 on the AP poll but then NICKNAME REDACTED got suspended and the AP poll had a revote to preserve the integrity of the AP poll or some such nonsense. LSU ended up #3, which is fine. I honestly don't care.

But here's the punchline: USC is ranked #1.

Now, I'm not the kind of LSU fan hung up on USC. I dislike USC on the same grounds I hate UCLA - I root against all teams in all sports from New York and Los Angeles, no exceptions. Jesus Christ could come back down from heaven and suit up for the Knicks... I ain't cheering for them. But I don't spend a lot of time hung up on USC in general. They have a great program, and their head coach is a bit of horse's ass, but whatever.

No, what gets me is that USC is ranked #1 despite losing their starting defensive end to injury a month ago. And unlike LSU, USC does not have the depth to absorb a major injury or player dismissal due to their scholarship reducations. Are our memories this short? Are AP voters goldfish?

Oh, and then USC lost DeVante Wilson to an ACL tear, also of the defensive line, although just a backup. Then again, when you are as strapped for position players as USC is, "just a backup" means a whole heck of a lot.

Hey, knocking LSU out of the top spot because they lost their best player for the season makes perfect sense. I don't really have a problem with it. But to then turn around and vote for USC due to LSU's personnel losses is a stunning disconnect. If you think LSU takes a step back due to losing NICKNAME REDACTED, how on earth can you then promote the MASH unit that is USC's defensive line?

Just vote Alabama #1 and be done with it. Or Michigan. Because if you're voting in a meaningless poll, why the heck not?