Hello readers! We're back again with some choice facts about our opponents this week, the Florida Gators. As always, we hope you enjoy them and learn something you didn't know.
1.) Florida's tailgating policies for home games can be described as draconian, with open containers of alcohol prohibited on streets and in certain parking lots. Therefore, when Florida fans travel, they make sure to go all out with no regrets.
2.) Will Muschamp established his reputation as a fiery defensive coordinator at schools such as Auburn, Texas, and even LSU before arriving at Florida. During his tenure in Baton Rouge, Muschamp passed his time by hunting nutria out by the levee of the Mississippi River. Nutria fetch about $5 a tail, and Muschamp set a single-year record of collecting $849,235 in 2003 by hunting only using his wits and a broken facemask. You could say he went native.
3.) The Two Bits cheer became one of Florida's football traditions after George Edmonson, Jr. (known colloquially as Mr. Two Bits) began leading Gator fans in cheering it during a 1949 game against his alma mater, The Citadel. He is quite literally the state of Florida personified, as he made his living as an insurance salesman and did not graduate from the university which he cheers for (void if winning percentage is .750 or less).
4.) Florida fans are known for wearing jean shorts. This is in an homage to famed Gator alumnus Stanley P. Jorts, who inadvertently invented jean shorts after attempting to rip his jeans off during a particular gut-wrenching home loss to Florida State in 1977. No one knows why he tried doing this, and everyone was afraid to ask, but being nearly pantsless seemed to put him at peace.
5.) Florida starting quarterback Tyler Murphy has actually been around since the Ron Zook era ended in Gainesville, and no one from the NCAA has even noticed. This is because Murphy is functionally invisible when he isn't doing anything, and because the NCAA is functionally incompetent.
6.) Early in the year, Florida linebacker Antonio Morrison was arrested for barking at a police dog. Little did authorities know that the dog initiated the conversation, and that Morrison is actually a dog enthusiast who minors in canine linguistics at UF. In fact, he nearly accepted a scholarship at Auburn due to their well-known Institute for Exploding Dog Studies
7.) Brandon Spikes really just wanted to be an optometrist and Washaun Ealey just kept looking at him with those eyes, taunting him.
8.) At the end of the 3rd quarter of every game, Florida fans join arms and sing "We Are the Boys From Old Florida." This tradition is immediately followed by another Gator tradition, "cough loudly and avoid eye contact with that guy next to you that you don't know, but you just grabbed shoulders with, until the game ends."
9.) Kansas head coach Charlie Weis' one year tenure as offensive coordinator for the Gators began on January 2, 2011, and ended on December 8, 2011, a period of 340 days. During this period, Weis broke over 2,359 ice chests by sitting on them, averaging 6.94 per day, costing the Florida athletic department an estimated $82,565. The 6.94 ice chests Weis broke per day was higher than Florida's average yards per offensive play in 2011 and the highlight of his tenure.
10.) Will Muschamp put his contact information into your phone like that, and you really don't want to find out what he'll do to you if you change it. After all, human beings are only, like, really big, hairless nutria.
Thanks for reading, folks! We'll see you bright and early on Saturday for one of LSU's greatest traditions, four hour long Saturday afternoon games!