Playin' "Nice" : Roll Bama Roll

Ricky Muncie of Roll Bama Roll was willing to answer a few more questions about life in Bushwood Country Club.

1. So I assume the Bama secondary has to be excited to see a quarterback that can actually complete a pass for the first time in a month, right?

Absolutely. With the way the youngsters up front have been playing, C.J. Mosley has even been getting bored. Hard to get excited about playing run support when no one gets that far.

2. Just how does one get that league office to give you the schedule hookup? I mean is it just letting Mike Slive cheat when y'all play golf, or is there some hypnosis involved?

Many misconceptions here. First of all, Slive is not a golfer, he is a bowler. (He prefers bowling for the same reason LSU women are popular -- because you don't get anywhere until you get three fingers inside.)

As for the schedules, the process is more fair than you'd think. The SEC associate commissioners all go to dinner at Bottega in Birmingham, and they order signature dishes representing each school. The pairings are determined by the time it takes for the meals to appear. For some reason, corndogs take just as long to cook as alligator, so you guys end up with Florida.

3. Do people in Alabama even realize that Bear Bryant's hat was gingham, and not houndstooth?

Yes, we do. However, after the controversy surrounding the 1969 performances of Lanford Wilson's "The Gingham Dog" on Broadway, opposing SEC fanbases began rejecting gingham patterns outright because of the play's depiction of an interracial relationship. Bryant, always trying to elevate racial harmony behind the scenes, switched over to "houndstooth" patterns as a means of sneaking gingham into opposing stadiums.

4. My wife told me to ask that question. Will our house be burned down for it?

No! By all means, her house will not be burned down for THAT. The greatest fire-related danger to your home involves dunking too many corndogs in the turkey fryer.

5. I'd ask why Saban hasn't started wearing a hat, but we both know it would cover him down to the waist.

Our Dark Lord does not wear a hat during games, because it would get in the way of adjusting his headset. Over the course of a 60-minute game, there are 35 distinct earphone adjustments. (Don't ask. There just are. Process!) The addition of a hat would not only change the dynamic in terms of number of adjustments, it would also add an extra .6 seconds to each, which might make the difference in having the presence of mind to call a time out in a critical 4th quarter situation.

Process.

6. So how does one say "Roll Tide" in hillpeople-speak, anyway?

It is pronounced the same way, but we do our best to not speak to Tennessee fans when we can avoid it.

7. Alabama claims a national championship for the 1941 season -- which also happens to be the year of Mississippi State's only SEC title in football. How did it feel, stealing the box that homeless person was living in?

Ha! I see what you did there.

As it happens, the United States did not start gearing up for war until December of that year, and as such there had been no economic recovery in Mississippi. There were no boxes to be had in that state, and therefore the accusation that we stole said box is a vicious lie.

8. Speaking of golf and country clubs, and as a member of the college football "old money" club, which 80s movie richguy badguy do you most identify with? The Duke Brothers? Steff McKee? Johnny Lawrence? Teddy Beckerstead? Judge Smails?

I am a personal fan of Randolph and Mortimer, but had they been Alabama fans, the SEC would have cracked down on them long before their defeat in the Frozen Concentrated Orange Bowl. (Clarence Beeks really pulled a Jordan Jefferson, amirite?)

I would have to cast my ballot for Dick Jones, the CEO of Omni Consumer Products. (RoboCop.) We like bringing in truckloads of talent, and turning it into a death machine that strikes fear and brings order to the world. Crimson f***ing order.

9. When Nick Saban asked you to drown a puppy as part of the Process, did you show the full commitment and kill your family pet or take the coward's way out and break into your neighbor's yard?

It was a blue tick hound puppy, bred for just such occasions.

10. And are you prepared to renounce the Bear and all of his deeds once Texas comes calling?

We don't have to renounce Bryant. We got him fair and square in a trade with Texas A&M for Franchione. Nothing much to worry about with the Longhorns, because we've already given them two assistants (Major Applewhite and Patrick Suddes,) and if anything they ought to be giving us someone in return.

**Ed. Note: Let's try and keep these comments in the spirit of this post and have some fun everybody.**