Playin'... "Nice": College and Magnolia

I've always wanted to know -- how did y'all manage to turn Jordan-Hare Stadium into Jerdin-Hay-yer?

Hey, his Momma called him "Jerdin," I'm'a call him Jerdin. As for the "Hay-yer," you know us Southerners can turn any one syllable word into a two syllable word. I don't know how it is in Cajun-land, but in Alabama just go to church on Sunday and you'll hear "Lord" as "Lah-wud."

Have Kristi Malzahn and Phyllis from the Finebaum show ever been seen in the same place at the same time?

As far as I'm aware, they have not. I avoid Finebaum like the plague, so I'm not too up on where Phyllis is from, but I'm pretty certain the reason they haven't been seen in the same place at the same time is that Phyllis isn't exactly allowed into the same types of places Kristi Malzahn would frequent.

What was Trooper Taylor's exit from Auburn like? Did he just swing his towel around like a helicopter and fly away?

I don't know specifics, but I suspect he had to get out before someone smothered him with the towel.

Does Damon Duvall still wet his pants in terror at the site of a trombone player?

Nah, he's gotten over that. Sousaphone players though... that's a different story.

Auburn's had two undefeated teams in the past 25 years denied the chance to play for the national title. I have no question, I just wanted to remind you of that fact because it's funny.

Yeah, that did happen. So did this.

If I bring a squirrel to the game, can I get the Eagle to do this again?

I don't know, can you make it all the way here and into the game without cooking and eating that squirrel first? I'm kinda doubting if you can.