Playin' ... "Nice" ... : Red Cup Rebellion

So tell us. Deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you know that Dr. Bo has accidentally sewn up a watch, a bow tie, a solo cup, SOMETHING in the patient that's going to make all this just go to hell, right?

Oh there are at least a few pagers lost in some poor sap's colon somewhere. That's what happens when you're in a hurry and don't want to miss happy hour. He's also performed a few transplants where he's had to use horse organs but, hey, you make do with what you've got. His patients understand this, we hope.

All this hate for LSU...you can be honest, it's because we wear white after Labor Day, right?

I mean, how tacky can you be? There's a fashion faux pas, and then there's a "oh what in the hell are you even doing?" It's not as bad as Lee Corso wearing seersucker in the Grove after Labor Day, but it's pretty damn close.

Does it piss you off that everybody remembers Billy Cannon's Halloween Run, but nobody remembers the 1960 Sugar Bowl?

Yes. Next question.

I always forget, Ole Miss' record in "parties won" versus Alabama's "claimed" national titles -- which bullshit number is higher?

Oh definitely the parties won. Alabama claims something like 15 national championships, where Ole Miss has claimed pretty much every party ever. Whatever the Dekes at LSU are doing Friday night? We're claiming it. Woodstock? Claimed it. Ancient Roman bacchanalias? All us.

Any update on those creepy Manning cloning efforts? Really hope y'all are still working with the Archie samples. Eli's kind of derpy.

We had way too many bad batches to keep that project going. There are talks of reviving it, but for now our resources are being poured into efforts to clone Patrick Willis and Dexter McCluster. We're trying to get federal funding but apparently it's "illegal" and something something partisan politics something human rights whatever.

If you'd like, we're happy to clone Jordan Jefferson free of charge.