So did y'all ever figure out who won Dan versus Dave? I ask because Wisconsin seems permanently trapped in 1992 with the whole "Jump Around" thing.
Listen, if living in a world where Chris Farley and Phil Hartman are still alive, gas is under a buck a gallon, the right to bear arms only involved Super Soakers and the Daddy Mack and the Mack Daddy made America 'Jump Jump' is considered a problem, then I suppose we're about to have a scrap friend.
Can y'all bring some poutine with you when you come? I love that stuff. Also, what's Rick Moranis up to these days. All you Canadians hang out, right?
Wisconsin was kicked out of Canada in the Beer Wars of 1977, and I would appreciate it if you didn't bring this up any further, I'm already upset with you for your insult of 1992. I mean, you prefer a world where Gene Hackman doesn't act instead of going toe to toe with Clint Eastwood. You're the weird ones.
Also, Rick Moranis is a Grammy nominated country artist. I'm not kidding.
Since I assume every Wisconsin quarterback has been Brooks Bollinger in some form of disguise for the last 15 years or so, what'd he come up with for this year? Is there a fake mustache?
We're assuming he's taller. As such, that will up his leadership quotient a billion percent. It's how America decides their presidents and it's how this game will be decided. We're going to beat your punim in the low post. Pardon my French.
Any plans to swing by Fayetteville on the way to/from Houston to egg any houses? Promise we won't tell.
Oh, you really think I'm going to trust the fanbase with the same sort of predilections for ridiculously adult beverages with a secret. I can see you just screaming "HEY! HEY! SOME FAT DUDE FROM WISCONSIN EGGED YOUR HOUSE!"
All you're gonna get is that we're watching Cheers on Thursday. We're not even going to confirm whether or not we're shouting Norm at the TV.
But speaking of coaches, how long did it take y'all to start spelling Gary Andersen's last name right on the first try?
Hold up. He's not the guy who cost the Vikings the 1998 the NFC Championship game? Oh. This is a trolling question. Look at you trying to trick us into misspelling Coach Anderson's name. Almost got me.
If this game goes to overtime, do we settle it with an andouille/bratwurst sausage race?
I hope so. You want none of Wisconsin when it comes to racing encased meats. And it's not like you're going to win in some sort of Tom Cruise getting Jack Nicholson to say he ordered the code red and saving the day. This is sports. Sports are where the bad guys win all the time. If Les Miles chooses the match race of cased meats option?
He just cost you a playoff berth.