1. #Clanga? I assume y'all just use this as an everyday greeting now, right?
With all the germs and diseases like the Ebola virus and the Enterovirus going around right now, why in the world would we want to do something like shake hands? You are absolutely right. We just pull out our smuggled in cowbells from our boots ring them when we see each other.
2. Now that we're friends, can I play with Bully? He's awesome.
Depends on your definition of play. Given the fact that bestiality is only a misdemeanor in Louisiana I'm not so sure this is a good idea....
Seriously, this happened not that far away from LSU...
4. Pretty Please?
Okay fine....but only if you guys are supervised.
5. So after that trip to ULL for the baseball super regional, y'all finally ready to be back among civilized folk?
You know, Mississippi State folks know far too well to make jokes about Lafayette these days. I'm just gonna step away from that one, but I will say any civilization that has deemed not giving a straw at the daiquiri drive-thru makes it all okay is a good civilization in my book. It could come in handy for all of you on your way home after the Bulldogs win.
6. John Cohen's not going to come make somebody throw a fastball at Leonard Fournette if he strikes the Heisman pose again, is he?
You know, that's assuming that Fournette is going to find the end zone, unless he is fine with doing that after a gain of two yards. However, if he should be so lucky to score or to strike the pose, I would hope that nothing less would happen. It's one of the unwritten rules; you just don't show someone up.
7. If y'all do somehow win on Saturday, are you willing to claim responsibility for the end of the world that will surely follow?
Being a Mississippi State fan, I would almost expect the world to end right before the Bulldogs could claim a victory. If it does not happen with about five seconds left in the game, you are probably off the hook. However, this might be a more sinister plot.
Everyone knows that the Mayans predicted the world would end, and everyone knows that there is an Indian burial mound under Davis Wade Stadium that has led to all of the bad luck in the history of Mississippi State. If you put those two together, the most likely scenario is that Mississippi State will beT LSU at night in Death Valley-where we all know the Tigers are soooooo awesome-on the way to a birth in the college football playoffs. The Bulldogs will win a miraculous semifinal and appear to have the championship in hand when a giant meteor strikes right before the winning 50-yard field goal attempt splits the uprights.