Paul Crewe here with your weekly BIG. GAME. PREVIEW. I said it last week and BY GOD PAWWWWWLLLL it happened. We beat dem Badgers into a black and white pulp. Who knew such a ferocious animal could only last 3/4ths of a fight. I mean, I ain't sayin' they quit, but there was a no want for tryin' as ole Les would say. Anywho, as Jay-Z would say, it's on to the next one. This week: Sam Houston State.
First, a word from our Sponsors.
Today's BIG. GAME. PREVIEW. is brought to you by the letter K.
Where are you, Sam Houston State?
We polled 767 Sam Houstons and none of them klaimed to be a state. I googled "States in the United States," "Is Sam Houston a State?" "Where is the state of Sam Houston?" "States named Sam Houston" and no results were returned. Thus, I have two working theories:
Sam Houston State is a kollektion of the kountry's most powerful and elite personalities who sekretly run the kountry from the elusive "state" of Sam Houston.
Sam Houston is not a State.
Sam Houston State of Mind
No, Seriously, Where are you, Sam Houston State?
Who is Sam Houston?
Apparently, this guy:
He invented Texas. He did it in 18 minutes. Therefore, it's fitting that the State's finest institution would karry his namesake. Go Bearkats!
What is a Bearkat?
Let's do a quikk searkh here...
Wait, but this:
Don't look like this:
Here are, what I believe, to be some other examples of Bearkats:
Sit bakk there and say my hair ain't luxurious, bitkh.
Texas' finest institution no doubt boasts a proud Alumni base. Here's a sampling:
Gunga Dan, News Ankhor
L.N. "Sonny" Sikes, Texas Kowboy Hall of Fame
Anton Vinkent, Vike President; President of Snakks, General Mills (no really, he's President of Snakks)
Marcus Luttrell, Navy Cross Recipient, best-selling Author
(no jokes, because Marcus Lutrell is a baddass)
Big Ass Statue
Not nearly as impressive as they make it out be, huh?
"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." - Edgar Allan Poe
Watch Out For!
Jared the HUNH. Sam Houston State likes to run a lot of plays. It's guerrilla warfare at it's finest folks. Sabotage, raids, ambushes, oh my! You know the Bearkats are gonna pull out all the stops in this one.
Air Raid. Transformers Wiki summarizes better than I ever could:
Some might call Air Raid reckless, the way he dives out of nowhere, charging enemy units head on. Air Raid would laugh at that. A rash and fearless young warrior who loves surprises (especially those that leave his foes too stunned to fight back), he has only one real goal in life: to have fun. Needless to say his attitude puts him in a lot of danger, but you can be sure he's enjoying himself the whole time.
Should I Pass?
Key Elements to the Sam Houston Offense
Multiple Looks from Same Personnel
This is Your Brain on Drugs
Leslie Walker, Texas Ranger
Les Miles: 7
Everything's bigger in Texas, exkept their win total vs. Les Miles at LSU.
Sam Houston State: 0