It's getting harder and harder to downvote LSU and keep them out of the clearly cursed top spot this season, but I'm doing my level best. I've veen got it set up so they can still be underrated next week. I do this for you, Tiger fans.
1 Alabama. Beat Arkansas despite spotting the Hogs the first three quarters. It didn't matter.
2 Texas A&M. Getting a lot of positive press for how well their defense is playing. This is where I point out that A&M's defense ranks 11th in the SEC in total defense in conference only games. This actually represents progress.
3 LSU. Leonard Fournette is so good, he just beat the NCAA. He is the human incarnation of Paul Bunyan.
4 Ole Miss. The Rebels are now petitioning the NCAA to strike their loss to Florida, as Grier is a dirty cheater so that game "didn't count."
5 Florida. Good thing I held on to the ballot. Losing Grier is big, but let's be honest, the Gators ranked 80th in the nation in Total Offense. It's not like Grier is the reason they are winning: it's that toxic cocktail of great defense and good fortune.
6 Mississippi St. I still don't have a read on the Bulldogs, but I suspect they are a pretty good team, just not a great one.
7 Kentucky. Cat fans may need to bone up on SEC tiebreaking procedures if they keep winning. Big if, though.
8 Georgia. Boy, did I misread that team. The Nick Chubb injury just makes the whole thing depressing.
9 Tennessee. Butch Jones has finally figured out the formula: you want to fall behind by two touchdowns instead of going ahead by two touchdowns.
10 Arkansas. Briefly had Bama on the ropes, but played conservatively with a small lead. It didn't work out well for them.
11 Mizzou. This isn't a very good football team.
12 Auburn. They have the chance to salvage the season on Thursday. It's rare that a game against Kentucky is pivotal, but this one is.
13 Vanderbilt. They have two games in hand on South Carolina in the Race to the Bottom.
14 South Carolina. A team so depressing that it caused Spurrier to throw his visor for good.
1 Clemson. It might take a Clemsoning for them to not make the playoffs. Just accept it now. This team is good, and it has an easy schedule. FSU is the one major road block.
2 Florida St. Beating Miami doesn't carry the same cachet it used to.
3 Notre Dame. The injuries are piling up and their wins don't look as good in retrospect, but this is still a good team with lots of heart.
4 Duke. They apparently do not support the troops.
5 Pittsburgh. Beat each of the two Virginia schools by a single score. So this isn't a great team, but it's good enough for the ACC.
1 Michigan. UNLV was the last team to score on them. Utah is the only team to score on them twice.
2 Ohio St. Turned it on briefly once Maryland tied the game because being tied with the Terps in the second half is unacceptably poor.
3 Iowa. Hey, if we don't care about how you look so long as you win, why not the Hawkeyes? They are the West front runner.
4 Michigan St. They were trapped in a dogfight with Rutgers. RUTGERS.
5 Northwestern. A lot of teams are going to get their asses kicked by Michigan. Still, you would have liked to at least keep it close for a half.
1 Baylor. Really disappointed they didn't try to score a century against Kansas.
2 TCU. That defense is not very good, but they have an offense with two Heisman contenders (non-Fournette division) that might make that irrelevant.
3 Oklahoma St. Another week, another last second win.
4 Oklahoma. Big Game Bob strikes again!
5 Texas. The schedule was tremendously front-loaded. Yes, they have lost four times, but that was to teams currently ranked 3, 13, 15, and 23 in the coaches' poll. And they have a quality win! It gets a lot easier from here... until they get blown out by Baylor.
1 Utah. Michigan. Cal. Who has two better scalps than this? And who would've guessed that Oregon would not be a quality win?
2 Cal. No shame in losing to Utah. Well, except for the five interceptions part.
3 Stanford. It's nice to be going into a huge Thursday night game with UCLA and have it be an elimination game for them, and not you.
4 Arizona St. Need to build off the momentum of the UCLA win against Utah this week.
5 UCLA. I still really like this team, even with Myles Jack wisely going off to the NFL.
We switch to full on resume here. I only care what you've done, not how you look. I value winning your conference very highly, so essentially each conference gets one slot on my ballot.
1 Utah. The most accomplished team in the nation.
2 Florida. The Tennessee win looks a lot better, too.
3 TCU. Winning in Lubbock and Manhattan is vastly underrated. That is an amazing resume so far.
4 Clemson. I really like the Notre Dame win, but they are going to need Duke and FSU to have good seasons to get some more quality wins.
5 Michigan. Yes, they have a loss, but it's still a better resume than anyone else in the Big 10.