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Playin' ... "Nice"... the one where we ask questions about Big Red

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Because there's really no other reason to play Western Kentucky.

SOON.
SOON.
Ed Zurga/Getty Images

(Thanks to Fletcher from Underdog Dynasty again for the help)

1. So, y'all have like...had all your tests and stuff since Bobby P. left town, right? I mean we don't want to catch anything.

We are having screenings for the last 100 or so students this week, but the team, coaches, cheerleaders, etc. all had priority once he went to Louisville, so no worries there. If any of those final 100 students are in Baton Rouge though, you'll just have to take your chances.

2. Y'all are bringing Big Red, right? Because if not, what the hell are we doing here?

Hell yeah, we are bringing Big Red. Just a warning, he's probably going to want to pet (and maybe potentially ride like a horsey) Mike the Tiger. So whatever you have to do to ensure Mike doesn't eat Big Red, it'll be most helpful.

3. Do you think Big Red would like to catch a beer after the game? Or just like...hang out some?

I don't think he'd have a problem with it. It's a long flight back to Bowling Green (just so you know, Big Red can fly because of course Big Red can fly) so he might not want to stay long, but if you can entice him to do so, he'd be down. he's not much of a conversationalist though - just a warning.

4. One of our writers hosts a particularly large tailgate, and he'd really like to know what Red eats.

Hats. Lots of hats. And the heads of unassuming people - particularly females. I'm just guessing that at an SEC school, the females will be plentiful, so Big Red will dine like a king. Also, I know people might think they're being polite and will offer him Bourbon to feel more at home, but that's a bad idea - Big Red is severely allergic to Bourbon. I think. I may just be making that up, but it sounds good and Ironic.

5. I have so many Big Red-related questions, but mostly his origins. Is he originally from The Living Island or Eureka's Castle?

He was actually the original Elmo on Sesame Street, but after Mr. Hooper died he spiraled into a deep depression and drinking binge...hence how he got so big. And how he lost is job. But he's happy on the Hill.

6. Also can he give me a hug?

He would LOVE to give you a hug. Outside of eating hats and acting a fool, hugs is what he's best at.