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How To Football: Week 9

LSU is on a bye this weekend, so the turn up and sexy costumes are real.

big, dumb, football
big, dumb, football

I'll be honest, I'm really glad it's a bye week for LSU because the burnout from 4 straight home games is real. It will be nice to prop my feet up and watch qualit-oh Jesus, this is really the week 9 slate?

Gameday took their time, but decided to be at Notre Dame-Temple in Philly.

Pitt Is Good? Shift

Pitt is 6-1, ranked in the top 25, and leading whatever division the ACC decided they're in. No matter how many times I say it, I can't believe that's actually true. They get also 6-1 North Carolina (????) on ESPN. Nothing makes sense in the ACC this year. Over on FOX Sports 1 (which should be on your TV because of the outright terribleness of FOX Sports Go) West Virginia goes to the DFW metro area to hopefully give TCU a run for their money. Buffalo and The Miami University Of Ohio (OH) serve as a garnish along with recent FBS callups Texas State and Georgia Southern.

Ducks Fly South Shift

Oregon came back to life in order to defend their 11 year title over Washington and late on Thursday they go to Arizona State in what has potential to be a great game between two underachieving teams. Be prepared to stay up late watching this one.

Storied ACC Rivalry Shift

Speaking of underachieving teams Louisville travels to Wake Forest Friday night, as it tradition in the deep, rich history of Louisville and Wake Forest. Over on the U, The Fightin' Ruffins sail the good ship Purple Power to Massachusetts for a tilt with UConn, and Louisiana Tech visits food.

Sneaking Into The Candy Stash Shift

Wyoming goes to Logan, Utah to finish the forward to Week 9.

Bears On The Plains Shift

All eyes are on the Worldwide Leader for the nooner, with Ole Miss @ Auburn on the mothership being the most attractive draw. Yeah, it's not exactly an attractive draw. Penn State has moved to a quiet 6-2 on the year and over on the deuce they'll look to continue the improvement against ZOMBIE ILLINOIS. Reeling off of their kick six against Georgia Tech for their first loss of the year, Florida State plays host to Syracuse, who are staring at 5 straight losses dating back to LSU. Texas A&M looks to break their 2 game skid against South Carolina on the Net, while after a 30 minute delay on the trey Virginia Tech plays Boston College, in what I promise will actually be a "good" game.

It Will Always Be The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party To Me, Dammit Shift

The annual meeting of Georgia and Florida in Jacksonville is on CBS at 2:30, because when was the last time it wasn't? Cal and USC kick off half an hour early on FOX, and this time last week this looked like a COMPLETELY different game. Cal and future New Orleans Saints QB Jared Goff are coming off their worst game in quite some time in a 40-24 blowout at UCLA, and the Trojans once again seemed to play better without their head coach, coming out of nowhere to bodyslam previously perfect Utah through the floor. Oklahoma State's dubious at best 7-0 record is in jeopardy on ESPN when the Cowboys go to the land of the flying tortillas. Clemson, one of the few teams in the country I trust (man that's a scary thought) plays NC State on the ABC/ESPN2 split while Iowa, another undefeated team that nobody knows exactly how they got there, plays host to Maryland on the alternate channel.

ND Nation Is Firmly Against Trick Or Treating Shift

Traditional power Temple looks to defend their perfect record against plucky upstart independent Notre Dame, who has finally had a breakout year under the tutelage of young hotshot HC Brian Kelly. It's nice to see one of the smaller schools finally find some success, but I don't think Notre Dame can go into Temple's hallowed Linc at night and come out with a victory. Ultimately, this will be a fun game but I see Temple holding off a scrappy Notre Dame to retain power in the college football universe. Oh and hey, Vanderbilt will be playing AT Houston for whatever reason, so if your costume requires blood, you'll be able to just collect that off your TV screen, so that's nice. On ESPN, ANGRY HARBAUGH will run riot over Minnesota and then drink whole milk out of a little brown jug. In case you want to see how far down the U's rabbit hole goes, they play at Duke on ESPNU. Speaking of rabbit holes going down, Tennessee and Kentucky at 6:30 on the net.

Sexy Kekaula Costume Contest Shift

Stanford and Washington State had a decent bid for Gameday's first ever visit to Pullman, but apparently the matchup of two offenses based on the exact opposite ends of the spectrum wasn't attractive enough. This has a lot of potential to be a great game, but that is predicated on Wazzu's ability to find ways to beat Stanford's defense, because the Cougars are not built to stop Stanford's SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER offense. For a bunch of smart guys, their offensive approach is pretty dumb. But it's effective, so what do I know? Zona and Washington play on FOX Sports 1, but you don't care because it's late night on Halloween and Robert Kekaula will be on your computer screen.

Oh yes.