1. Do y'all think Spurrier has considered having Frank Martin breath fire at the team for a couple hours as a motivational tactic?
If not, that's a great idea. In fact, at this point in each's tenure, it wouldn't be a terrible notion if they just switched roles. The anticipation of Spurrier's presence seems to draw the biggest crowds to Colonial Life Arena anyway. But then again, maybe this is already taking place, Spurrier just waits until halftime to unleash the fire breathing dragon on the ever porous defense.
2. So just how do y'all like to eat yourselves -- fried, grilled, roasted or in a stew?
Ever heard of Lizard's Thicket? It's hard to drive through a block of Columbia that doesn't offer a fried-based restaurant, famous hot dogs or a Waffle House. It's practically a college safe haven.
3. Steve doesn't seem like the desperate type, but is there any truth to the rumor that he drunk-dialed Stephen Garcia the other night?
Drunk dialed? Please. The two meet up every night in Five Points to split a bottle of Fireball, watch highlights of the 2010 Alabama game and talk some ball plays. The real rumors are whether or not Garcia will take over once the old man stops showing up.
4. Between Garcia and Steve Taneyhill, has it occurred to any of your coaches to start evaluating quarterbacks based upon hair length and/or body?
The longer the hair the greater the legend. Youtube Gamecock Nation and country music star sensation Patrick Davis. I believe the title of his song is Big Ole. It shows just how far Tanneyhill's legacy stretches. You either gotta let it flow or chrome out the dome to have success as a Gamecock quarterback. See Connor Shaw.
5. Any thoughts on your next past-his-prime hall of fame coach? Mack Brown's available. Or y'all could maybe take Frank Beamer off Virginia Tech's hands?
I think a dual-threat combo of fired Texas coaches could work itself out as co-head coaches in Columbia. Mack Brown seems readily available and Charlie Strong might not make it to November. Our problems may be solved sooner that we think. But I'll extend this discussion to the wacky and look to Bill Sydney. Now that guys gotta have some motivation left in the tank to rebuild a stalling program.
6. Is the university paying reparations for Darius Rucker's "Wagon Wheel" cover, and if so where do I sign up?
Please don't get me started on Darius' "Wagon Wheel." As much as I appreciate the man, and his lyrical brilliance, that was just a bad idea. You ruined the song Darius. Ruined. It.