How To Football: Week 11

ESPN's College Gameday, built by the Home Depot, is going to take their merry band of talking heads to Waco for the Baylor Bears and The False Heisman's exposure against a pedestrian at best Oklahoma team.

Kent From Ohio Shift

#MACtion for Week 11 takes us to Athens and Mount Pleasant where Toledo, who took their first loss of year just hours after earning a top 25 ranking last Tuesday, looks to get right against the Chippewas. One state lower and on the U, The Ohio University of Ohio (OH) hosts Kent "Is Not A Real" State.

PJ Fleck's Varsity Crew Club Band Shift

Bowling Green and Western Michigan kickoff over on the deuce at 7. I just wanted an excuse to post this gif tbh.

Over on das yew, noted GOOD DOG Mission and Northern Illinois go to Buffalo. Your rooting interest in this game is just cutaway shots to Mission.

NERDS! Shift

Georgia Tech's season is a bigger disaster than a North Avenue Trade School For Boys' Tinder profile, but by all metrics, Virginia Tech's season has not been much better, so what we all thought would be a good game in the preseason still has that possibility, but just with way less at stake.  The Hudspeth Hustle goes to Mobile on a quest to reach bowl eligibility.

Why Aren't You Watching Ben Simmons Shift

Seriously, I promise you won't miss anything. USC will win by two scores and it won't be interesting. Go watch Ben Simmons.

Beware of DWAG Shift

The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry, the only rivalry with 100% more dog bites, decides a new leader in the series, which is currently tied. For the first time since 2003, Florida and South Carolina will not have the OBC involved. After Florida struggled to put away Vanderbilt last week and locked up the East, maybe it's best to keep tabs on that game until you can confirm that the Gators have put it out of reach. Thanks to #accrefs and their rival gutting them like a fish, Duke is more than likely out of the ACC Arbitrary Division race, but they can pull down Pitt from the race and seal North Carolina's place in the ACC title game. Or they can not throw their rivals a bone and give the game away on purpose. I don't doubt that is an option on the table. Ohio State is going to play with Illinois for three quarters, so be ready to feign interest in that.  Texas and West Virginia rounds out the shift.

CLANGACLANGACLANGACLANGA Shift

Hey, remember that time Oklahoma State lost at Iowa State? Yeah that was crazy. It's not happening again, but I'm giving to give this the same treatment as the Ohio State game. Miami takes their shot against ACC Arbitrary Division clubhouse leader UNC while the #1 team in both the ACC and the nation, Clemson plays Syracuse who has been doing great since LSU visited thanks for asking. But as good as the Orange"men" have been playing, I think Dabo's boys will get the job done in the swamp on Saturday.  HARBAW takes his anger to Bloomington, who nearly saved us from undefeated Iowa last time out.

The game of significance to us is Mississippi State and Alabama. You'll need to find a cowbell for this one, because a Mississippi State win puts LSU back on top of the SEC West standings. An Alabama win means they hold the tiebreaker over LSU, with their only remaining hurdles being Western Carolina in the SEC-SOCON Challenge and Auburn.

Football's a bitch.

BERT III: Revenge Of The Les Shift

If you're watching LSU from the comforts of your dry, heated home, enjoy the many offerings from the night course on the side, such as Oklahoma and Baylor, the game many choose will be the "best game of the week". I'm here to tell you that's hot rubbish brother, that will be Memphis and Houston. Justin Fuente's variation of Tigers  were "upset" by Navy last week, leaving Houston as the last remaining group of 5 undefeated. I still think Memphis is the better team, but Tom Herman's boys are not slouches on the gridiron. After Stanford has made a living off of ruining Oregon's seasons in the past, the Ducks look to return the favor and spoil Stanford's rebound off their week 1 loss to Northwestern. After questions of it being cancelled due to the protests occurring on Missouri's campus, the BYU-Mizzou game, live from a SHIELDBALL complex in Kansas City, is still happening on the SEC Network.

Robert And Stitch Shift

The two marquee games of the finale feature two teams who nobody saw coming in the preseason playing two teams who are vast disappointments in the PAC 12. First up is PAC 12 South leader Utah playing Arizona, who have lost three straight and are sitting at .500 on the year. 30 minutes later Washington State, who has pulled the ship out the storm endured after their week 1 loss to Portland State, take on UCLA. To their credit, UCLA is only a two loss team, and one is to Stanford, but their loss to Arizona State is downright inexcusable. Cal, who once was looking into a top 10 bid, look to snap their 4 game losing streak against Oregon State, who are just the whipping bags of the PAC 12. Don't look at their record, it's bad. Instead of their record, Google just puts (bad) behind the team name. Don't look, just take my word for it . It literally says "Oregon State (bad)", trust me. New Mexico and Boise plays on the U, but who gives a shit cause WE GET ROBERT KEKAULA THIS WEEK