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How To Football: Week 12

Watson's look at the week 12 slate.

I really don't get paid enough for my quality of work
I really don't get paid enough for my quality of work
Adam's Photoshop Emporium

#MACtion Night In America Shift

Early kickoff to start the week, with Toledo and Bowling Green kicking off at the end of rush hour. An hour later, Ball State and the Ohio University of Ohio (OH) enter into the fold.

Directional Shift

Western and Central Michigan play guests to Northern Illinois and Kent State on ESPN2 and ESPNU, respectively at 6.

The Quest For Perfection Shift

0-10 UCF, one of two teams of the sort left in American, plays the Fightin' Ruffin McNeill's, who is trying to scrap together a .500 season to get bowl eligible.

Should UCF and Kansas go unwinfeated on the year, both teams should totally meet in a bowl game to determinewhich team is the worst team in America. Hell it doesn't even need to be a bowl game. It doesn't even need to be an actual bowl game, just give them plane tickets to Baton Rouge and play it in BREC's Memorial Stadium. We can call it the Big Ratchet Classic. Guys, we can do this.

Blue Shift

Tubbs and his quarterback with a distinct lack of #chest travel to the land of strip clubs to play Willie Taggert's Bulls. An hour later, Air Force goes to Boise State in a game featuring all of the blue ever.

Hokie Hokie Goodbye Shift

North Carolina travels to Blacksburg to play Virginia Tech in Frank Beamer's last game in Lane Stadium, in which they will be wearing black uniforms, for some reason. Memphis and Temple shows the promise to be the best game of the shift. Both teams have two losses, with the worst loss being Temple's 44-23 loss to South Florida last week. Iowa looks to keep their fly in the ointment status intact after playing Purdue, while Michigan and Penn State round out the nooner along with Illinois and Minnesota.

Still Tippin' Shift

Yeah LSU-Ole Miss is the game you have a rooting interest in, but it's going to be far from the biggest game of the shift. First off, the game that ESPN's College Gameday will be at, Michigan State-Ohio State is one single "SPARTY NO!" away from reaching Game Of The Century status and will decide the B1G East and who plays Iowa in Indianapolis. Utah was eliminated from the playoff picture with their loss to Arizona in last week's #PAC12AfterDark action, and now they draw UCLA in a Top 25 matchup. Houston represents the lone remaining Group Of 5 undefeated team after surviving Memphis' attack and ESPN is perking up to the fact, so their game at UConn will be on the family due to "upset alert" reasons. It's whatever, stay trill H-Town. And to give you a sense of how stacked this shift is, USC-Oregon is the 5th most interesting game on. Yeah, hold on to your butts guys.

The One Where The Big 12 Has A Three Way Tie (Part Two) Shift

You remember in 2008 when Texas Tech beat Texas on the last play, but then lost to Oklahoma, who in turn had a win over Texas, setting up a three way tie for the division? Yeah, that has a chance of happening again, only with two variables: Oklahoma State, who is sitting perfect on the year, and Texas, who beat Oklahoma but it far outside the running for the distinction of "one true champion". After Green TCU's loss to Oklahoma last week, they look to level the playing field by ruining Oklahoma State's dream season, while half an hour later Purple Baylor goes to Norman to eliminate Oklahoma from contention. Away from the flyover states, Mississippi State faces the same task LSU had in picking up after a Bama loss only to play Arkansas. Tennessee and Missouri play over on the deuce, but the game of note is Boston College vs. Notre Dame, which I encourage you to hate watch for multiple reasons:

1. The game will be played in Fenway Park.

2. Seriously:

3. I'm sure you've noticed, but yes, Notre Dame will be the "home" team in this game, which again is being played in Boston College.

4. Football should never happen in baseball stadiums. 

5. I'm sure Notre Dame will have some ugly uniforms (well, uglier than traditional sets, that is) for this game.

6. It's Notre Dame

Luke Falk Hero Shift

Jared Goff carries his once-proud Cal team to the Farm to play Stanford, who are coming off a shocking loss to Oregon, who was really just repaying the favor for all the times the Cardinal tripped up the high flying Ducks in the past. On the other end of the QB narrative spectrum, Luke Falk and his surging Washington State team take on a Colorado team who, well...they're trying their hardest, dammit. You don't have to like Sting's music, but you have to like the fact that he's making it. San Diego State and UNLV round out the traditional TV viewing football, but we get a special treat delivered to us via our internet connected devices.