NFL scouts know EVERYTHING about the players they've scouted for tonight's draft. They know if they're too nice. If they're too mean. How well they tip. Do they include to-go orders? Sonic car-hops? You can't trust a linebacker that doesn't let his Skatetress keep the change on an Oreo Blast.
And you can always trust these scouts to leak exactly how they feel to the mainstream media's host of NFL insiders. Always on the up-and-up, NEVER for self-serving reasons. There is no SELF-serving in the National. Football. League. After all, it's all in service to The Shield.
But if you think they limit their observations just to potential football players, well you just don't know how far the league goes to vet people. Even bloggers are reported on. And here are the top-secret, so-far-inside-we-know-what-the-had-for-breakfast reports on the And the Valley Shook Staff.
Spot on, in my opinion. The lack of flexibility from all that muscle can be a real problem in tight quarters.
Tough, but fair. You stay classy, San Francisco.
A man with processed flour and high-fructose corn syrup in his diet should think extra hard before he ranks ANYTHING.
No kidding, right? We're not even sure if that's his real name.
This fuckin' guy...
Yeah, but it helps keep that jersey SPARKLING.
You just can't beat a nice loaf of bread. Step your game up, Jake.
It's why he always has to sit by himself at Astros games.
That's...like really spot on, actually.
Seriously. He's going to go cross-eyed.
They make her lose control.
I mean if you can't finish the pre-game meal, you'll never finish the game.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU LIKE ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK WE KNOW YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET