LSU is Ready to Show You All What A Real Football Team Looks Like

You know a couple of months ago, Nick Saban told his secretary in Birmingham. To tell her secretary to send us an email, to call Nick Saban, so that we could get a look at the 2015 SEC football schedule, I thought a big weight was going to be lifted off of the entire LSU program. Really set up for success. Because we'd spent the whole offseason anglin' for some big things.

Hey, how about you give us Auburn on a Saturday night. You know we got this great thing going with Gus, let's do it under the lights.

"No, no, that's not for you. We need you to play at 2:30, aight?"

Or how about we get together with Oregon again in Jerryworld. It was the biggest football game Dallas has seen in 10 years!

"Sorry. Not a part of the process."

But on the other hand, they tell us hey, go play Texas A&M on Thanksgiving night. Give ‘em a helluva showcase. Let the people see what you can do!

So there we go, just puttin' along. Acceptin' what we're given, because the SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PINNACLE OF COMPETITION. BUT THE POLITICS HAVE KEPT ONE OF THE BEST DAMN PROGRAMS OUT THERE AS LOW AS YOU CAN KEEP IT.

You know, they say you are what you eat. And the SEC has fed us nothing but garbage. So maybe we became a little complacent with what they said. So long as ESPN and CBS keep signing those checks - maybe we weren't happy with the situation - but we became complacent.

And then boom. 2015 slate of games is released. The SEC schedules our biggest game in the sweaty asscrack of the damn afternoon in September.

Alabama, Auburn, Tennessee, Georgia - they get the schedule they want. They wanna play, heaven and earth get moved. All LSU gets is a good swift kick in the ass, and left high and dry.

When I look at this schedule, you know what I see? Some of the biggest piles o' crap that's ever been put in front of me! They call this college football?

You got Mack-Neese State.

You got the Auburn.

Syracuse, whatever the hell they're called.

Florida Gators.

YOU GOT THE TEXAS DAMN AGGIES - IT'S NOTHIN' BUT A BUNCHA PIECES OF CRAP THAT THINK THEY CAN PLAY FOOTBALL.

But LSU is here to play some college football.

It's what we do best. It's what we do better than anybody else in the country. And we're serving notice to each and every one of you pieces of trash right now. We're going to be the champions that we always knew that we could be. Because there's nobody here to hold us back.

Nobody.

No more John Chavis.

Nick Saban doesn't have a say anymore.

Gus Malzahn, Kevin Sumlin, none of ‘em are gonna hold us back.

There is no one in the SEC that can stop us.