How To Football: Week 10

Remember remember the 5th of November...

#MACTION BACK Shift

Yes friends, MACtion has returned to us once more and brother does MACtion return with a bang. Ok, maybe not a bang, but the conference flagbearers West Michigan row the boat forward against Ball State. The Broncos should romp, but this is MACtion so you can throw all reason out of window. Bowling Green and NIU is on at the same damn time, but that is a game of much less consequence.

Game Seven Shift

Toledo and Akron. I love MACtion, but just drop this on a second screen and watch the Cubs win the World Series.

Clean Water Shift

Oklahoma travels to Ames, Iowa to sample the best god damn drinking water that has ever met Sooner lips and to beat the tar out of the Cyclones, probably, unless they don’t, probably not, at least the water is good. Arkansas State hits the road to play in the Georgia Dome against Georgia State. There’s MACtion on CBS Sports Network, but not only can nobody watch that, is it really MACtion if it’s not on ESPN2/3/U? I think not.

Rocky Mountain Horror Picture Show Shift

Yes! Colorado is still in the lead for the PAC-12 South! And they can widen their gap over Utah in the division with a win over UCLA while also putting the Bruins behind the eight ball in terms of bowl eligibility. The Bruins are sitting at 3-5 overall thanks to three straight losses and, after Colorado, UCLA draws Oregon State (lol), USC, and Cal. Yeah, the monopoly was over.

Stop Trying To Make CBS Sports A Thing Shift

Matt Rhule’s Temple is going to play dreamboat Bob Diaco’s UConn team. Basically this game is a Money In The Bank type match where the winner gets a briefcase that contains a contract for an interview to be the next LSU head coach.

Still not MACtion, still not caring, still unable to watch it.

How Big, How Blue, How Idaho Shift

After being upset by Craig Bohl’s Wyoming in stunning fashion, Boise State plays us into College Football Saturday by beating up on San Jose State.

10:30 Mass Shift

30 minutes before Gameday ends and the nooner begins in earnest, Navy and Notre Kickoff in Jacksonville. Why is it on CBS? Why in Jacksonville? Why at 10:30? These are all good questions, but if I had to guess I’d say it has something to do with Notre Dame is scared to lose to Navy at home and they want to go ahead and get it out of the way. This is my stance until I receive official word from Notre Dame football saying otherwise.

A week after looking like they could give Ohio State more than they could handle, Northwestern hosts Wisconsin. Godspeed you purple journalists.

Louisville and Lamar Jackson are fresh off of a scare against Virginia and that’s highly troubling in and of itself, but that especially does not project well for this week’s game against Boston College. According to offensive S&P+ Louisville has the best offense in the nation and while it didn’t stall out against UVA, it didn’t have the exact effect you would expect for the best offense in the country against...Virginia. The Cavaliers have the 93rd ranked defense and Boston College, despite their lack of offense, have the 18th ranked defense. That’s quite a step up. There is no such thing as a good game involving Boston College, they play lowest common denominator football and make games miserable for every party involved.

Pitt and Miami will be a game between mirror opposites, as Pitt boasts the 21st ranked offense and 56th ranked defense in S&P+ (which is crazy considering Pat Narduzzi is their head coach) while Miami (FL) comes in 52nd in offense and 26th in defense. Five weeks ago Miami was 4-0 and bearing into their rivalry game with Florida State. Now the Hurricanes are looking to avoid a fifth straight loss.

Speaking of avoiding disaster, Charlie Strong travels to Mars to play the team with the slider turned all the way to offense. I know that we all make Lane Kiffin tarmac jokes, but if Strong loses to a team that is a conscientious objector to playing defense he may be walking back to Austin in a sandstorm.

Vanderbilt and Auburn are also playing.

Orange Crush Shift

The second game of the SEC tripleheader and first of the SEC on CBS is Florida at Arkansas. Thanks to Tennessee losing to Will Muschamp for a FIFTH time, Florida is in the lead the SEC with Kentucky (KENTUCKY) up on their bumper. But there’s a caveat to that lead, if Florida picks up two conference losses and if Kentucky fades late then Tennessee holds the tiebreaker over the Gators. And that can happen, as Florida draws LSU and Arkansas in November. If you’re unaware, Arkansas has a tendency to get better as the season progress, like markedly better to the point to where they are rolling come November. So while the Hogs are 1-3 in SEC play this year, the calendar has rolled around to the Razorbacks’ month.

Dino Babers’ first year at Syracuse has been a little challenging but after losses to Louisville, South Florida, Notre Dame, and Wake Forest, the Orange have sort of found their way after beating Virginia Tech 31-17 and surviving Boston College’s lowest common denominator football 28-20. Don’t confuse this for calling an upset, but we saw Syracuse play LSU tight down a quarterback or five so Babers will not have an issue with getting up for Clemson.

Thanks to Texas, we don’t have to worry about Baylor getting into the CFB Playoff, but the Big 12 is on the table for the Bears, and I don’t think there’s any objection to openly supporting TCU in this game? Speak now or forever hold your peace ok motion passes.

Oklahoma State is also in contention for the crown jewel of the plains (+ upper Appalachia) and they have to go The Little Apple to play Bill Snyder’s Kansas State. ELSEWHERE: Khakis and Under Armour, SEC East Sadness Bowl.

Eat. Sleep. Break The Streak. Shift

Bama and LSU is obviously the crown jewel, as it is the destination for College Gameday. The point of this article is to sell you on the games listed on the chart, and if you need to be sold on this game then you are in the wrong place buddy.

The only other game worth nothing is the match up between one loss Nebraska and one loss Ohio State, which is what we exactly predicted in August. Gold star for that one, y’all. Ohio State are busting out fire 1916 throwbacks that are so much better than the Buckeyes’ trash normal set. Come at me, Ohio twitter.

Kentucky tries to keep pace in the SEC East by beating Georgia, which at this point of the season I think may be much more of a mental challenge for the Wildcats than a physical on the field one. In the past 20 years, Kentucky has beaten Georgia exactly three times and holds 12 wins over the Dogs all-time. The pressure is on Kentucky, do they have the mental fortitude to keep playing at a level to hang around the SEC East and possibly find a way into Atlanta?

The rest of the shift is pretty much built to place attention on Alabama-LSU and Nebraska-Ohio State, with hit singles such as “Oregon-USC” and “Kansas-West Virginia” and “FSU-NC State”, which doesn’t have a listing because you shouldn’t have to Talk About The Noles this week.

The Cal Football Wheel Of Destiny Shift

Washington has been very impressive all year and proved their legitimacy last week by beating Utah. But this week they play Cal, one of the few football teams so unpredictable that I cannot expense any more words on this game at the risk of looking like a fool besides these: Cal if playing in this game, so you should watch it.

Thanks to their upset of Boise State, Craig Bohl’s Wyoming is trying to hold firm against hapless (much to my chagrin) Utah State. Nevada and New Mexico also get it on late at night.