Well, you grunts went 3 for 3 last week so we’re at a stalemate heading into arguably the worst weekend of college football of 2016. Not much to get excited about. Not much to cheer for. Bring on the beers.

This Week’s Games

Mississippi State @ #1 Alabama

Mississippi State pulled a shocker off last week, upsetting Texas A&M. Alabama comes into this game risking a bit of a letdown after a physically grueling war with LSU. Even with MSU riding high and Bama a little beaten up, it’s not enough to close the gap in talent and quality between these two teams.

South Carolina @ Florida

South Carolina might just stumble into a bowl in Muschamp’s first year. UF finally got exposed for the fraud they were last week. It’s hard to see USC winning this game, but then, UF really isn’t a very good team, especially on offense. Muschamp revenge factor? I’m smelling “upset.” This is like if a slug picked a fight with a snail. Everyone would pick the snail because it’s got a shell, duh. But if the slug won it’s just a big slimy mess anyway.

Kentucky @ Tennessee

Somehow, someway UK is playing for the SEC East against yet another fraudulent Vols team. The Vols lost to South Carolina two weeks ago. They are objectively bad AND injured. Kentucky is also very bad. You shouldn’t watch this game unless you are into stapling your balls to plywood.

#9 Auburn @ Georgia

Malzahn has orchestrated a turnaround on the Plains that has everyone believing again. Georgia hired a 5th grade bully with a bowl cut to lead their program into the darkness. Auburn should win this game by 347 points. Which means it will probably go to OT and UGA will bite Sean White putting the game in John Franklin’s incapable hands. Georgia will miss the game winning FG kick short and it will be returned for 2 points by Auburn because Gus ain’t know nothing but hijinks.

Vanderbilt @ Missouri

You could also:

• Hand write thank you notes for no apparent reason
• Mow your 40 acre lawn with a push mower
• Take your fish for a walk
• Replace every door knob in the house

#24 LSU @ #25 Arkansas

The 4th Annual “Arkansas’ National Championship” will be held in Fayetteville this year. Arkansas has feasted on wounded LSU teams in recent years. They’ve certainly outperformed the superiorly talented Tigers. Now LSU is trusting a new man to pick up the scraps after yet another LSU loss. This should be a fun, meaningless football game!

Ole Miss @ Texas A&M

Ole Miss pulled the RS off their young, talented QB just because, you know, whatever. Texas A&M is injured and flailing but the committee will somehow find it within themselves to put them back in the playoff top 4 next week. In September this looked like a showdown for the SEC West! Too bad it’s November. The biggest thing at stake here is Ole Miss bowl eligibility, which is officially on life support.

Good luck, blouses!