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Look, it may seem like LSU put together a fantastic recruiting class. I mean sure, 247, Rivals, Scout and ESPN's ratings may all rank Les Miles and staff's haul near the top, if not the best in all of college football.
But are you really going to believe what the media tells you?
There were a number of key misses in this class. Prospects that could have taken this class to the next NEXT level. Sure, Miles would have had to get a little creative with the scholarship numbers, but you have to be willing to do what it TAKES to compete for championships!
Let's look at where the Tigers went wrong:
New Orleans Pelicans' King Cake Baby
You can't buy intimidation like this (ALTHOUGH I'M SURE SOMEBODY DID). Imagine having this middle linebacker staring you down from the other side of the line of scrimmage?
Tom Cruise
America's finest actor made an official visit to LSU this fall, but Les Miles and Joe Alleva failed to close the deal. Unacceptable. Look at that speed. Rumor has it The Advocate's Ross Dellenger may have scared Cruise off with an awkward bathroom confrontation.
Harry Potter
A real ball-hawk in the secondary who always has the ability to seek the big plays out. Amazing endurance and almost impervious to injuries because he can heal himself through magic.
Ric Flair
SIXTEEN TIMES, WOO! WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Just the kind of experience you need for a playoff run. Frankly, it's embarrassing that Jim Harbaugh beat us to the Nature Boy, and I have to wonder if his friendship with Les influenced how hard the coach pursued Flair.
DJ Khaled
Nobody understands the keys to success like this man, and there's just no value you could place on his twitter and snapchat audiences.
Wakko Warner
Yes, he's the most diminutive of the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister, and he's almost certainly put some strain on the university's dining budget, but this kind of intestinal fortitude just doesn't come around very often. You make special allowances for special talents.
Bill Gates
Did not commit after numerous LSU fans shared his Facebook post that promised he'd commit to the school whose fans shared it the most times.
Baby Sloths
Seriously. YOU LITERALY JUST HANG THEM TO DRY.
John Krasinski
Did y'all see him in that 13 Hours movie? He got pretty ripped.
Joe McKnight
Yes. Still.
Jareth, the Goblin King
Okay, sure 5-10 is a little short for an LSU wide receiver, but look at that dexterity?
We're talking about Odell Beckham/Jarvis Landry levels here
Jack del Rio
Just embarrassing to lose him with his step-daughter in her 10th senior year on campus.