Well, I’m back. Last week was a disaster, but more on that in a moment.

Let’s talk about week 1.

GUARANTEED

Pride cometh before a fall, champ.

And he felt so good about it.

It’s never too late for more losers.

Week 1 was an f’n bloodbath. 43 players entered. 14 of those thought they needed more cowbell and were promptly proven wrong. A whopping third of the field eliminated by a single team on Week 1. And that was just the beginning.

Kentucky felled another 9 valiant competitors. Then another 3 of you idiots picked Vanderbilt.

We lost over half the field in Week 1.

Now, Week 2. I dropped the ball. I suck. I’m the worst. Fire me. Egg my car. Whatever. No one picked wrong. I went ahead and included the picks in the spreadsheet just for shits and giggles, but I’m trashing it. It got up way too late, even for the last 16 left to play.

So to answer the 13 teams question the answer is:

YOU CANNOT PICK ALABAMA

Here’s the spreadsheet:

Link to Spreadsheet.

This Week’s Games

Ohio @ #15 Tennessee

I mean, you can touch this one if you want. Vols looked stronger last week. Well, they looked more focused, at least. Pretty safe to say the Media’s preseason darling child isn’t that great, but we already knew that, right?

Vanderbilt @ Georgia Tech

Whatever.

East Carolina @ South Carolina

South Carolina is objectively bad at football! East Carolina actually isn’t! This could be ugly for the Gamecocks! Will Muschamp may get fired after one season!

New Mexico State @ Kentucky

New Mexico State is actually not an FCS school. Kentucky football might actually be FCS level.

Mississippi State @ #20 LSU

LSU are considered monster favorites in this game. Therefore, they will likely win on a double reverse field goal punt.

#17 Texas A&M @ Auburn

Auburn is bad! Texas A&M beat UCLA because they always beat overrated OOC opponents in Week 1. Auburn is a 4 point favorite. I think they will probably win for no good reason in particular.

North Texas @ Florida

Florida dismantled Kentucky and right now looks like the clubhouse leader to win the SEC Actually Bad Division. North Texas is somehow not been relegated, and everyday they are thankful they don’t play in Europe.

Texas State @ #24 Arkansas

I dunno, seems like a cupcake to me. Arkansas will win on a last second FG, then.

#16 Georgia vs. Missouri

Georgia looked entirely underwhelming last week, nearly losing to an FCS school at home. Missouri throttled Eastern Michigan, who should be an FCS school. Oddsmakers consider the Dawgs a TD favorite despite it being the first road trip for a freshman QB. Seems like a recipe for disaster IMO.