Yeah, yeah, I know, woe is us and Auburn is favored by a touchdown and they’re going to break the 1999 streak. Eiffel 65 is this close to their big comeback hit too!
I’m tired of all this talk — we hate Auburn. They’re just a different-yet-still-disgusting flavor of Alabama, with twice the phony pious gentility and none of the actual bragging rights.
They stole their colors from the University of Virginia, their mascot from us...no not that one...not that one either, the other one! Their best quarterback is a laptop-theavin’ sexist jackass that’s mastered turning one great season into false expectations, and their best coach is more known for getting shithoused and losing his pants at a golf course than any game he ever actually won.
And their only good joke was copied from a Big 12 school’s message board.
We hate Auburn, and you should to. So let’s hear it from the twitterverse:
Their coaches name is Gus, short for Gussy, meaning to "make more attractive, especially in a showy or gimmicky way." Hence their offense.— Kyle Digby (@KyleDigby) October 9, 2017
Gus enjoys his orange juice immediately before brushing his teeth.— Nicholas S Gambino (@hugosalvatore) October 9, 2017
How do you get a one armed Auburn fan out of a tree? .....Wave to him.— @hebertdamon (@hebertdamon) October 9, 2017
their last win in Tiger Stadium is now old enough to vote— Luke Mayeux (@LukeMayeux) October 9, 2017
Did you see the Auburn Fieldhouse that one time? BURN— Alex Hickey (@bigahickey) October 9, 2017
Damon Duvall, 0-for the Golden Band from Tigerland 4 LIFE