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Did Y’all Forget We’re Playing Auburn This Week?

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WE HATE AUBURN

Yeah, yeah, I know, woe is us and Auburn is favored by a touchdown and they’re going to break the 1999 streak. Eiffel 65 is this close to their big comeback hit too!

I’m tired of all this talk — we hate Auburn. They’re just a different-yet-still-disgusting flavor of Alabama, with twice the phony pious gentility and none of the actual bragging rights.

They stole their colors from the University of Virginia, their mascot from us...no not that one...not that one either, the other one! Their best quarterback is a laptop-theavin’ sexist jackass that’s mastered turning one great season into false expectations, and their best coach is more known for getting shithoused and losing his pants at a golf course than any game he ever actually won.

And their only good joke was copied from a Big 12 school’s message board.

We hate Auburn, and you should to. So let’s hear it from the twitterverse:

Damon Duvall, 0-for the Golden Band from Tigerland 4 LIFE

BOINNNNNNGGGGGGG!