Playin’ “Nice” with College and Magnolia

1. Y'all stole Virginia's colors, our defensive coordinator...like, everybody's quarterback...anything in particular we should remember to nail down when y'all come in town?

Hey now, we aren't the only ones who grabbed a quarterback from another school. You just gotta know where to look, a.k.a not Purdue.

Seriously though, keep a close eye on Mike. He's awesome and I want him.

2. So Gus has gotten pretty good at out-running the executioner every year. How's he going to get away this time and keep his job? Is there a jet pack?

You know the saying about the SEC West, right? "Somebody's going to get paid over 4 million to finish last"? Well, with one coach fired before the season and another holding on by a thread (and boy what a thread it is, holding up BERT), we don't have to worry about that. Surprisingly, looking around the conference right now, Gus is middle of the road at worst as far as hot seats go.

3. Speaking of Gustav, I think he looks like a 10th-grade algebra teacher, but my wife says he looks more like a Sonic day manager. Where do y'all fall on the debate?

I'm gonna pass on the easy LSU-fans-smell-like-Sonic-corn-dogs jokes and say that Gus does actually remind me of an old teacher of mine. Except it was 11th grade pre-calculus. So close Billy. So close.

4. Everybody knows that the First Rule of the Auburn Fambly is you don't ask about what happened to Pat Dye's pants. But what about the third rule?

We actually call them commandments, not rules (it *is* a God thing, remember), but #3 goes like this:

"Thou shalt be kind to fans of all teams, and not engage in the various hate weeks. Unless it's Alabama, those guys are the worst."

I know y'all are down to hate on the Tide with us, right?

5. Auburn's favored to win in Tiger Stadium for the first time since 1999, so are you prepared to accept responsibility for the inevitable Limp Bizkit comeback, should you pull this off?

I will listen to the entire Limp Bizkit catalog on Spotify if Auburn wins this weekend. Mind you, I was born in 1995, so I don't remember having ever heard a Limp Bizkit song or having ever seen Auburn win in Baton Rouge in my entire life. Drastic times call for drastic measures.