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How To Football: Week 10

Hey is there a game on this weekend? Like, one we should watch? I dunno, let’s check and see.

I’d ask how everybody’s stress-free weekend was, but half of us are Astros fans or rooting for our neighbors to the west and LSU’s best boy Alex Bregman so it was still probably stressful. No days off.

For the first time in what feels like forever, GameDay will NOT be at LSU-Bama, putting LSU’s GameDay streak is serious hot dog water.

But who really cares, right? That doesn’t mean that LSU can’t tie up the ATAT Walker that is Alabama.

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Return Of The #MACtion Shift

The original hipster college football returns when pre-Thursday MAC football kicks off Tuesday night. The Ohio University of Ohio is challenging for the MAC East, but Miami is right on their heels despite their 3-5 record. Kent State and Bowling Green are behind them, and uh, not having great seasons with a combined three wins between them.

Hopefully the Astros can close it out during this shift, but if not...

Game Seven Shift

Only one game on Wednesday, the battle for the Victory Cannon. The Broncos are still floating off the wave of PJ Fleck and are a win away from bowl eligibility in addition to looking for their fourth straight victory in the rivalry. Central is just trying to break .500 on the season and get a shot at a bowl.

99 Red Ball States Shift

Pretty meh Thursday night this week. Our “prestige” game is a good Navy picking apart what’s left of Matt Rhule’s Temple. Navy have lost two straight to Memphis and UCF, so they’re good and hungry to stop the skid, which bodes well for Temple.

We’ll always have 2015, Owls.

The night kicks off with Northern Illinois at Toledo, which is actually the biggest game of the night. Control of the MAC West is on the line in this game which is by far more important than anything else in the college football universe. Hell, only the MLS Cup is more important in terms of American sports.

After that concludes on ESPNU the Idaho farewell tour rolls on with a trip to Troy and uh...somebody will get their first conference win when Ball State and Eastern Michigan meet on CBS Sports Network.

I hope.

Kiffykins Shift

One of those weird weeks where Friday is better than Thursday.

It kicks off with Marshall and the original bad boy of college football, the man who falls upward like he’s in the Upside Down, Lane Kiffin AKA Joey Freshwater AKA Juan Aquafresca AKA Kiffykin-san.

That leads us to Mike Norvell’s resume-building game against Tulsa, which in turn lears to the spoitlight game of UCLA at Utah.

We get more of that elusive Ivy League action over on NBCSN with Brown at Yale.

You will be quizzed on the 2017 Ivy League football season in December.

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How Far I’ll Go (For It On 4th Down) Shift

Remember that weird week where the nooner shifts were good? Yeah we’re slowly going back to normal where they’re all trash. But there is one remnant of this tumultuous time in our shared history, one good game left in the early bird special: Penn State at Michigan State. So Penn State dropped their game against Ohio State, that doesn’t mean they’re done for good. Hell, if anybody should know that then it’s Penn State themselves. But here’s the deal: Michigan State is also still in the running for the Big Ten East. Quite the contrary, the Spartans are actually tied with the Nittany Lions for second in the East. So this serves as an elimination game, and if the Spartans pull off the upset, then the still have a shot at Ohio State to win the division outright.

Meanwhile, away from The Frozen North, the seats down south are warm, especially for Auburn at A&M. Time is seemingly running out for Kevin Sumlin, especially after last week’s pasting from Mississippi State. Meanwhile, folks on the plains are still stewing over their blown 20 point lead in Baton Rouge and another loss to a team they view as lesser opposition will get the take machine fired up REAL quick.

The rest of the shift: Wisconsin no-selling Indiana, an absolute culture clash of Kansas State at Texas Tech, and Western Kentucky at Vanderbilt. The Commodores are favored by nine, just in case you feel the need to press your luck.

If you’re particularly morbid after Halloween, zombie Florida goes on the road to play Mizzou. I need a shower after reading that. I’m not reading off the rest of the alternates.

Bedlam Shift

Oklahoma. Oklahoma State. Both teams have one loss in conference play. Oklahoma lost to conference-leading Iowa State, Oklahoma State lost to TCU, hot on the cyclones heels after Saturday’s upset. Two teams enter, two teams leave, only one will leave without an honest shot at playing in the conference championship game and definitely eliminated from the playoffs. This is everything a rivalry should be.

Meanwhile, conference-leading Iowa State tries to hold serve with a tricky test: West Virginia in Morgantown. It would be so cruel to see midnight come so soon for Cinderella, but it’s a story we’ve seen happen before. It’s highly likely, sadly.

I would be worried about Ohio State having a hangover game on the road at Iowa, but the Hawkeyes are having a blackout complete with special uniforms, so I’m not worried about that at all.

The potential trap game theme rolls on when Clemson hits the road to play NC State, and South Carolina at Georgiahahahahahaha no.

Game Of The Century VIII Shift

By the time this shift rolls around Bedlam and Iowa State-West Virginia will be decided, but the Big 12 is not done walking on eggshells yet. TCU hosts Texas to kick off the evening shift, and a loss there kills the Horned Frogs’ season AND adds fuel to the “Herman Underdog” narrative.

Minnesota and Michigan decide possession of the Little Brown Jug, an heirloom that the Golden Gophers have only had possession of for 24 years out of the 102-year history of the trophy.

Future Florida head coach Scott Frost will try to keep his UCF team undefeated at the hands of future Texas A&M head coach Chad Morris and his rapidly improving SMU team.

Also, Virginia Tech-Miami, oh and LSU-Bama.

Rich Rod’s Revenge Shift

I know how crazy this sounds, buuuuuuuuuuuuut USC-Arizona is for command of the PAC-12 South. Arizona has very quietly been sitting there at 6-2 with close losses against Utah and Houston working against them. A win Saturday night, and uh, they have the inside track to the Santa Clara.

Last year, Washington broke a 12-year dry spell against rivals Oregon. That Duck team was probably the worst team fielded by Oregon this side of the millennium and Coach T already has pulled the e-brake on the program and at least got it faced in the right direction. If the Huskies aren’t careful then they won’t get a chance to build a streak and will be fully eliminated from the playoff.

Wrapping up the scraps: San Diego State-San Jose State and the lowly Mormons going to Fresno.

Our island brothers are stateside and play at 5:00, so no fireside chats with Robert this week.