Knockin’ On Evan’s Door: What the Heck is a Morning Kickoff?

**Ed. Note: Y’all welcome the new kid.**

Hello, thank you for taking the time to read this. Yes, ATVS did hire a new columnist, and I would like to use my first column to tell you, our lovely readers, a little bit about who I am.

I’m Evan. I’m currently a sophomore at LSU studying mass communication. I am the Deputy News Editor for the Daily Reveille, LSU’s student newspaper. [WARNING: PLUG INCOMING] Our news staff does a tremendous job covering the news surrounding LSU, and if you’re interested at all in what’s happening on campus, you should definitely check us out. I was raised in Mandeville and tweet way too damn much, but you should still read them at @evansaacks.

Now that all that awkward, boring stuff is over, let’s get into some fun facts about my relationship with LSU sports:

• I was born two days after LSU upset top-ranked Florida in Tiger Stadium in 1997, so yes, I am a spoiled brat with no recollection of LSU football not being an elite football power.
• The Saints will always be my first love, but I was raised an LSU sports fan even though my parents met at Louisiana Tech
• I worked at a dry cleaners my senior year of high school, and Ed Orgeron was a regular customer. I should clarify this was LSU defensive line coach Ed Orgeron, not LSU head coach Ed Orgeron.
• I have attended countless LSU sporting events, but more than half of those were softball

What I’m Not Excited for This Weekend

• Arkansas vs. LSU at something called the “morning”

I blame this whole 11 a.m. mess on Arkansas for being so prodigiously trash that Tiger Stadium is being subjected to an early kickoff. LSU-Arkansas is a stupid football game that you uncomfortably love. It’s a guilty pleasure. It’s that one romantic comedy that you love, but hate to admit it out of fear of being subjected to watching other rom-coms (mine is “Blast From the Past”). When LSU and Arky kick off in the night, you know some weird stuff is gonna happen. The fact that they’re kicking off at 11 a.m. means some BAD weird stuff is gonna happen. A game LSU should win 38-7 will end up with a final of 19-15, featuring a combined 5 safeties. I’m not looking forward to it.

Since I’m only in my second year as a student, and generally only attended one game per year during my first 18 years of life, I have very little experience with an early kickoff. This is the one game this year my family is coming to, and it’s really throwing a wrench in our plans. My brother is a senior in high school who is in the marching band, and plans on doing Tiger Band at LSU next year. TGBFTL does a cool thing each year where for one game, they let high school seniors walk with the band for pregame and sit by them for the entire game. One of the quirks is that parents can walk with the high schoolers, which sent my dad through the roof with excitement when he found out he could walk with Tiger Band pregame. Of course, he assumed pregame meant 3-5 p.m. Instead, he and my brother will be reporting to the band around 6 a.m. Saturday morning, the day after a wedding in Metairie for my dad, and a football playoff game at Zachary for my brother. It should be a fantastic morning.

As for me, I’m not really sure what time I’m waking up Saturday morning. I’m going to this thing called a BASKETBALL GAME the night before (did I spell that right??) so I’m not sure how long that will take, but I should have ample time for sleep. I’m interested to see how much of the student section exodus we’ll see on Saturday considering the common excuse is you need to leave early to avoid the lines at the bars. The (honestly pretty valid) excuse for the Auburn game was that many people were burning alive, but that shouldn’t be the case this time. I’m also interested to see how intoxicated the student section will be. The only thing I’m sure of is the drunkest person in the stadium will be World Series champion Alex Bregman.

I have never been to an LSU game that kicked off before 2:30, so I’m interested to see how this goes!

”But Evan, didn’t LSU have a noon kickoff against Florida last year on Nov. 19?”

What? What are you talking about? LSU’s game against Florida last year was cancelled because of a hurricane. LSU played South Alabama on Nov. 19 and won 52-7 on senior night. It was a great way to finish the season.

What I Am Excited for This Weekend

• Alcorn St. vs. LSU Basketball

I have yet to see Will Wade coach a basketball game, and I can still barely name 3 current players on the team, but dammit Will Wade knows how to get me excited for a game. LSU sent out an email to all students featuring a video of Wade saying how he needs ME to be in the PMAC Friday night to will this team to victory against (googles BPI) 322nd-ranked Alcorn State! I do feel a little more confident about LSU basketball this year only because more than half of the field should be ineligible for the postseason. Can you imagine your program getting ruined because of ADIDAS? It’s starting to make sense why teams would wear those uniforms.

• Georgia vs. Auburn

The only time I have really gotten to watch Georgia and Notre Dame play this year was the last 4 minutes of their game against each other week 2 so I still have no idea how both teams are so good. All of the stats say they’re dominating, but… UGA…. number one???? With a backup freshman QB named Jake Fromm??? Everything about Georgia this year screams 9-4 and the TaxSlayer Bowl (pretty sure that’s still a thing) except their stats which say they’re really good. I really don’t have anything clever to say about Auburn except that they blew a 20-point lead to LSU.

• Iowa vs. Wisconsin

HELL YES Iowa vs. Wisconsin is a ranked matchup with STAKES!!! This is the type of game ever fullback will lose his mind over. It’s going to be a masterpiece.

• Saints vs. Bills

I’m still in this weird cross-section of embracing the Saints’ return to success head-first, and still being terrified it’s all going to fall apart at any minute. I’m trying as hard as I can to enjoy it, dammit.

• A1 Banger of the Week

Last week marked 35 years since this track was released. I don’t think much else needs to be said.

Geaux Tigers, everyone.