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Playin’ “Nice” ...: Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician

John is a good sport.

1. So how about we make this game interesting...winner gets custody of Dennis Quaid for all football movies?

That's fine. While the story of Ernie Davis is a great one, The Express never really made much of a dent with critics in part because they (in my opinion) just didn't get the point across about how important his Heisman win was at the time. Also, Syracuse football was terrible when the movie was released, so you're not going to be grabbing a ton of casual fans that recognize the program and all. The Express matters to us more than anyone else. That's fine, but we have a lot of alums in Hollywood. We'll just make a movie about Jim Boeheim to supersede this one down the road.

2. So is Gerry McNamara back to start at quarterback again this year?

Have you seen how often Eric Dungey gets injured? It could very well happen. Since it's a well-known fact that McNamara has infinite eligibility despite being a paid assistant coach on the basketball team, the second-most-famous Syracuse alum from Scranton (to Joe Biden) is always happy to lend a hand. Sure he hasn't throw a football in awhile, but that never stopped Greg Paulus in 2009. Expect Gerry to account for 200 total yards in Dino Babers's offense.

3. Honest answer: if you were trapped on a boat at sea, and scurvy was setting in, would you drink yourself?

Assuming I'm Otto the Orange in this situation, yes. Scurvy's no joke and drinking enough to prevent that would only downgrade me to a clementine. Can still wear the hat and show up to games and half the fan base would even notice a difference.

4. In the Aaron Sorkin tradition of hacking his own lines over and over again, any idea which part of this game will repeat from the last matchup?

Hopefully not the part where Zack Mahoney is taking the majority of the snaps at quarterback...

The part where our punter executed a masterful fake and then tried to assault a Tiger defender was fun. Let's just do that again, but this time with Sterling Hofrichter instead of the NFL's best punter Riley Dixon (who was the culprit last time). It's an iconic and recognizable plot point in this not-at-all-rivalry. Fans near and far will appreciate the call-back to what was an oddly fun matchup last time around.

5. How is Jim Boeheim getting kicked out of this game?

Given that Jim Boeheim won his only NCAA championship in the state of Louisiana, he's "obviously" an expert on local cuisine, and he'll tell the locals as much every chance he gets. His travel logs from the past few Olympics have been the stuff of curmudgeon legend, so he'll take this opportunity to give real-time reviews at Tiger Stadium. The first time he mentions that the state's best food comes out of a box with a Zatarain's logo on it will be enough to cause Ed Orgeron to halt the game and eject the Orange coach himself.