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New York, New York
Last Meeting: 34-24, LSU (2015)
You might remember the 2015 game as a blowout, and LSU did win the game fairly comfortably, but Syracuse always kept the score rather close despite giving up around two million yards rushing to Leonard Fournette. That was actually the first time these teams had ever played in the regular season, as their prior matchups had both been in bowl games: the 1989 Hall of Fame Bowl and the 1965 Sugar Bowl. Though LSU holds a narrow 2 games to 1 margin, the total points scored in the series is dead even: 57-57.
There’s no real bad blood between the teams. Syracuse was a regional power and an independent for most of its football history, joining a conference in 1991. Before that, Syracuse usually played a schedule heavy on the other northern independents while LSU played its SEC schedule.
We did just miss each other in 1959. LSU finished the regular season 9-1 and tied for second in the SEC with Ole Miss, who LSU had beaten that season. Georgia went undefeated in SEC play, but had lost out of conference to South Carolina. Anyway, the Sugar Bowl skipped over the SEC champion Bulldogs, and instead selected #2 Ole Miss to play, stop me if you’ve heard this before, a rematch with LSU. Ole Miss would avenge its only loss on the season in the bowl game and finish #2 in the nation.
Syracuse wrapped up its undefeated regular season and seeing the #2 and #3 were playing each other in the Sugar Bowl, instead played #4 Texas in the Cotton Bowl. Syracuse won 23-14 to secure the 1959 national title. LSU was a missed two point conversion against Tennessee from running the table and likely playing Syracuse in the Sugar Bowl with a chance to win back to back national titles. It was not to be, but that’s hardly Syracuse’s fault.
I blame Ole Miss.
by Paul Crewe
There are no awards for this team, just a vast emptiness of hopelessness and despair. The games have no meaning, nor do any of us. Eat at Arby’s.
HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE
by Paul Crewe
Familiarize yourself with some of Syracuse’s biggest playmakers or hey there’s a lot of oranges in the world.
The quarterback. He’s already completed 73 passes this year, which Etling should hit by week 9. He’s also their leading rusher. There’s more to this one than meets the eye. Looks scrumptious on the surface but the inside is powerful and bitter.
Steve “Don’t Call Me” Ishmael is Cuse’s leading receiver. Don’t call Steve a Tangerine. He’s a fuckin’ Clementine. There’s a difference.
Syracuse’s leading tackler. He does not Cara Cara for your offense.
Poseur’s Random Old Man 10+1
Again, the rules: I take out my old iPod classic, set it to shuffle all songs, then I press play. No cheating to look cool. These are the actual results, then put into a Spotify playlist.
The trusty iPod asks a pretty good question to kick things off this week: are we experienced? It seems the randomizer is also worried about LSU’s relative youth. And while this season has not gone according to script in the early going, the playlist reminds us that God has a plan. So while men can’t control what’s going on, maybe we should have faith and stay the course. We can imagine a better future and the way we improve… or we could just start drinking.
Getting some mixed signals here. Because then it seems the iPod is encouraging not just that we drink, but that we drink until we black out. And when we wake up, we should drink even more. After all that, we should still remember to praise our players who are busting their ass on the field for our enjoyment. Maybe you wavered in support, but that’s okay. Something came over you… probably the heartbreaker of last week’s loss to Mississippi State.
But the random mix closes things off with some great advice for one of the great 80s New Wave bands: have a short memory. Let’s put last week behind us and move on to absolutely dominating Syracuse. Thanks for the pep talk, iPod. I knew I could count on you.
STATE OF THE UNION
by Paul Crewe
“Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, my fellow Tigers:
Tonight, I take this podium a broken man representing a broken nation. There are long roads that lie ahead of us, full of yet unforeseen twists and turns. We have recently come upon great adversity. But we are a people of great strength.
We hear our critics. There are some that will say, ‘Your offense looks pathetic.’ Others will bellow ‘Your defense is ineffective.’ And frankly, if I hear one more comment about penalties... (laughter)
But now is not the time for panic. We must calmly address the issues we face. We will not back down from our challenges. We will not shy away from our critics. That is why today I am introducing a new Stimulus Package that will help infuse the program with new life. This package will introduce the creation of hundreds of new yards on offense and show immediate reduction in procedural and contact penalties. Furthermore, we will bolster our defense budget in a continuing effort to remain a foremost power in this collegiate landscape.
It’s not easy. Our brand of football is hard. But I promise that down by down, practice by practice, we will continue to trek forward into that bright light. And I know, when I step into Tiger Stadium on Saturday night that I have the unwavering support of the Tiger faithful. I can see it in the emptied kegs during tailgating. I can see it in the steaming cauldrons of jambalaya. I can see it in the eyes of the elderly grandma that cheered for Billy Cannon and Leonard Fournette. I can see it in the smile of the little child seeing Mike the Tiger for the first time. I can see it in the community banding together when troubled waters donned our doorsteps.
That’s the LSU I know. That’s the place we love. I believe in LSU because I believe you, the Tiger faithful. I believe that our football team is strong.
Geaux Tigers and God Bless LSU.
by Christina Stephens (@CESTephens)
This week, LSU is visited by a team that has serious uniform potential – the Syracuse Orange. They’ve got a lot of things going for them: their mascot is a key ingredient in mimosas, they use a deeply beautiful orange with a nice red base and an almost rust undertone, navy has at times been deemed the New Black. Also: no scurvy, so that’s good.
The Syracuse uniform might be our Height of Opposing Team Uniform Fashion this season – the Orange is the New Fast (their words, not mine) are pulling out all of the stops for Saturday’s game.
Starting with an orange CHROME facemask.
Orange chrome. Let the majesty of that sink in.
Nothing says, “We came to play,” like orange metallic chrome accents on your helmet. It’s that touch that is the difference between wearing clothes and wearing an OUTFIT.
Facemasks are often ignored by uniform designers, which is a damn shame. The perfect accessory can really sell an outfit. And, unlike some schools’ mirror ball chrome helmets, a chrome facemask isn’t over the top/distracting/trying too hard.
Syracuse has this casual confidence. Imagine them strolling into the bar one night, “Oh, this? It’s just a chrome facemask, you know, because it’s Saturday.”
As if that finishing accent wasn’t enough, CUSE is donning its best jersey and pant combo: orange on orange.
To be fair, Syracuse will attempt to pull off the kind of uniform I would HATE for LSU to wear. I adore the classic LSU gold pants and white jerseys and would be incredibly put off by anything that deviates from that without reason. (If you have a Chanel suit, you don’t wear one from Target, even if it is a little cute.)
Quite honestly, why Syracuse wouldn’t wear that lovely orange head to toe every damn week that they could is beyond me. You’re the ORANGE. (Oranges?) It’s almost a jewel tone, making it nearly universally lovely on all skin tones. (Sorry, gingers.) It’s got a depth to it that makes it better than the orange of, say, a Florida or a Texas or a Tennessee.
Honestly, I hate all of those Nike Pro Force Combat Whatever uniforms. Except for this one.
The only downside is that the Upstate (?) New York Oranges aren’t wearing a great orange matte helmet to top off the ensemble. (Which I KNOW they have because I’ve been stalking their Instagram like they’re an ex-boyfriend.) The chrome facemask will instead accent a white helmet that isn’t completely tragic, but certainly ruins the monochrome effect of the orange.
Y’all, imagine the seamlessness of a matte orange helmet atop all of that Syracuse orange, with the pop of chrome on the face mask.
Like a 2010 Rachel Zoe, I die.
Syracuse insta: https://www.instagram.com/p/BZUC9VXHFVx/?taken-by=cusefootball
First off, I’d like to point that Syracuse has a Shaq on their roster: Shaq Grosvenor. We here at ATVS certainly support more people named after Shaq, who is one of the finest human beings on the planet. However, winning the Mingo requires a little bit of originality, so as much as we appreciate a Shaq, we instead salute Andre Szmyt. That is a fantastic string of consonants to start off the surname and I’ll be honest, I have no earthly idea how to pronounce it. Stumping someone who went to LSU over pronunciation is like grad level complicated name. We salute you, Andre Smith. Yeah, that’s a lot easier.
An anonymous CBS Sports employee gives his thoughts on the Tigers, as dictated to Poseur.
I told you so.
Now, the question is whether LSU can bounce back from its humiliating defeat last week, and of course the answer is no. If they had a real coach, maybe they would be able to get over a nationally televised humiliation, but I doubt it. This team is clearly going to give up on the rest of the season and fail to win another game the rest of the way out.
Syracuse pushes the tempo and spreads the field. There’s no way LSU can slow them down if they couldn’t slow State down, a far more limited offensive team. LSU’s offense won’t be able to throw the ball, Derrius Guice is hurt and will be ineffective, rendering their running game ineffective as well. LSU will not be able to keep up in the track meet due to its offensive deficiency, and will lose in a high scoring game… well, for one team at least.
ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
“...thought you were dead.”
“Yeah, you and everyone else!”
Here we are again. Left for dead. After thoughts. Overhyped. Overrated. Over you name it. It’s a line we’ve heard time and again. It fits a narrative that isn’t wholly true, but since when has anyone let the truth stop them from talking. Saturday night isn’t our return to life. But souls don’t pass back over from the afterlife in immediacy. There’s a journey back to Earth. The world has forgotten about us and that’s okay. They all think we are dead. But they will learn.
Saturday is just the beginning.
Call me Snake.