clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

4th Annual Paul Crewe SEC Survivor Pool: Week 5

Only two down this week!

Only two men fallen this week, due to DNPs. Healthy scratches. They are the Teez Tabors of SEC Survivor Pick ‘ems. Tennessee and South Carolina did their level best to take out the entire field, but yet, if you made a pick, you persevered this week.

I have hidden the previous week’s losers for a cleaner chart, per your demands. You can now return my children that you held hostage.

This Week’s Games

Vandy @ #21 Florida

I won’t quibble over the back end of the top 25 rankings, but Florida is totally the team that writers were just like... “uh, I guess... Florida?” They have played some shitacular football on their way to being 2-1. They have stolen victory from the jaws of defeat twice now. You may say they are mentally strong, I say they are simply the king of the derps. Alabama caught Vandy looking ahead to next week. That’s the only explanation for a 50-point massacre. Watch Vandy steal one in the swamp.

New Mexico State @ Arkansas

Finally, a game the Hogs can easily put away. /raises Lee Corso’s pencil

New Mexico State is... good? They nearly beat Arizona State and rallied down 17 in the 3rd quarter to lose by 3 to Troy. Ok, they aren’t especially good, but they aren’t especially bad either and they can score points. Which is not a great thing for one of the league’s worst three defenses. Arkansas looks miserable in year 5 of Bielema. His teams typically Benjamin Button their way to quality, but man, his job could be on ice by November.

#7 Georgia @ Tennessee

Georgia went on the road and took down the Catholics and then came back home and took down the Hillbillies in decided fashion. Is Georgia finally the Georgia we’ve been waiting for for a decade? Probably not. In marches a bad Tennessee lead by a bad head coach, looking to make a bad football game so they have a chance to return to a merely bad state from their present miserable one. Should be fun, this Saturday, 2:30 CST on CBS!

Eastern Michigan @ Kentucky

When Kentucky decides to employ their full defense, they play pretty well! It probably won’t matter against Eastern Michigan. Unless... they are emotionally hungover from a disturbing defeat at the hands of a team they haven’t beaten in 30 years. I can’t imagine that would linger at all though. Like, there’s no way that sticks with them for all eternity.

#24 Mississippi State @ #13 Auburn

It’s been a Tale of Two Games for State, who absolutely murderalized LSU then took the submission role vs. Georgia. Maybe they are Sado-Masochistic? Auburn looks like they are maybe rounding into form. Or, they just had the fortune of playing Mizzou. I don’t feel like anyone has a handle on either of these teams right now, which is why I should disqualify every other game and make you guys all pick this one.

Troy @ #25 LSU

Troy is kinda lesser Syracuse, which makes them even more meh-able. They will come with an upset in mind and probably leave with a bland 22-point loss where LSU farts around for 3.5 quarters and then Greedy Williams returns every attempted pass for a TD for the final 7.5 minutes of action. Every single one. Even the ones by our new starting QB, Myles Brennan.

South Carolina @ Texas A&M

Lol, nope. You touch this one. I fuckin’ dare ya.

Ole Miss @ #1 Alabama

Ole Miss totally has Alabama’s number, which is why this game will be fun. Hugh Freeze will definitely devise a gamepl... oh yeah, shit. Alabama sees aspiring young upstarts and kicks them over for the hell of it. “Oh that’s cute that you want to be fun and good, but we don’t need you around here. Bye.” Saturday Night Carnage brought to by Buckler: All the shitty parts about beer without any of the fun. A lot like Alabama is to football.