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Week 1 Polling and Trolling

Let’s make rash judgments!

NCAA Football: Chick-fil-A Kickoff-Alabama vs Florida State
It sucks watching them be happy
Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

College football is back, and it is awesome. Week 1 didn’t look like that great of a lineup, but then it delivered a wonderful, wacky weekend that was everything that we all love about this sport. One week in, and all we know is that we know nothing.

It’s always a bad idea to overreact to the first week, but let’s do it anyway.

1. Alabama. Maybe we know one thing: Bama is awesome again. They looked like the best team in the country against another contender. FSU played the role of LSU is Bama’s annual strangulation of its closest contender.

2. LSU. The sort of dominant win LSU normally only sees once a year, when they play the Aggies.

3. Auburn. It was just Georgia Southern, but Auburn looked exactly like the team they envisioned themselves to be.

4. Georgia. App St is feisty, and UGa put them away without much trouble. The big problem for the Dawgs is Eason’s injury. There isn’t a backup plan.

5. South Carolina. Outside of Bama, perhaps the best win of the weekend for the SEC. An inconsistent effort, but they planted their flag.

6. Mississippi St. Quietly had a perfect debut to the season.

7. Tennessee. A lot of teams will struggle with Georgia Tech, though the offense is a work in progress right now.

8. Vanderbilt. The annual “Vandy struggles with a Group of Five team” game never materialized.

9. Florida. Two pick-sixes cover up a multitude of sins. Michigan doesn’t even have a quarterback, and they ran roughshod over the Gators.

10. Arkansas. Sure, Florida A&M is a bad team, but that was a thorough destruction.

11. Kentucky. Not looking much like the trendy upset pick after struggling with Southern Miss.

12. Texas A&M. I’m not an Aggie fan, but I can’t even rationally talk about this game. Sumlin criminally mismanaged the second half, and let a game slip away that his team had no business losing. As fun as it was to watch, I’m honestly pissed at him and he’s not even my team’s coach. Oh, and now they are on their third team quarterback for the rest of the year. Enjoy. This is a dead team walking.

13. Missouri. Struggled mightily with a terrible football team. Asserted their will in the second half, so that’s a good sign.

14. Ole Miss. Hey, it’s a win.


1. Clemson
2. Miami
3. Florida St.
4. Virginia Tech
5. Louisville

After an offseason of basking in the glow of the collective media’s praise, the ACC responded to its well-deserved hype by going out in Week 1 and laying a collective egg. The ACC went 0-3 against its traditional bully/rival, the SEC. NC State was the poster boy for the ACC’s hype as an underrated, upcoming team flying under the radar. And then they went out there and lost to South Carolina. Louisville barely escaped Purdue, making me more confident in my pick against them, but they still move up due to the NCSU loss.

Big 10

1. Ohio St.
2. Penn St.
3. Wisconsin
4. Michigan
5. Maryland

Another conference that got a lot of preseason love for its overall quality, but here’s a very really question: who is the fifth-best team in the Big 10? The top three looked great, and Michigan took care of business eventually. The rest of the conference didn’t exactly faceplant, however they didn’t look all that impressive either. I’m withholding judgment on everyone, but let’s promote Maryland for beating Texas. Victory tastes better with crab.

Big 12

1. Oklahoma
2. Kansas St.
3. Oklahoma St.
4. TCU
5. West Virginia

We’re seeing some stratification. Nothing is going to convince me that Kansas is any good, nor are Iowa State and Texas Tech. But the bottom five is now clearly joined by Baylor and Texas, who were in a contest to see who could post a more embarrassing loss. In the abstract, losing to Liberty is objectively worse, but no one expected Baylor to be good. Texas’ loss will inspire another round of Texas is Back! Jokes. Which is a way of saying this top five looks like its going to be the top five all year, in differing orders.


1. Stanford
2. USC
3. Washington
4. Oregon
5. Utah

USC and Washington both struggled, though scuffling with Western Michigan is a lot more forgivable than doing the same with Rutgers. Rutgers, people. However, Stanford looked like the platonic ideal of Stanford. Yes, it’s Rice, but Stanford didn’t even break a sweat. It was a nothing opponent, but if any team not named Bama looks like their best selves right now, it’s Stanford.

Current Playoff Teams

Ohio St.

Still early, but the top three really looks like the top three. Yeah, Ohio St looked vulnerable for a half on the road in what was possibly the biggest Indiana home game in history. They still won by four touchdowns. We shouldn’t read too much into week one, but what fun is that?