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T-Bob Hebert’s A Song of Purple and Geauxld

Former Tiger’s epic, put to pen.

T-Bob Hebert

**Ed. Note: Friend of the site, Baton Rouge radio personality and former Tiger T-Bob Hebert has...unique tastes. Among them, Game of Thrones. Since he’s started his own George R. R. Martin version of college football coverage this season, he was good enough to provide us with a text version.**


The Swamp King’s campaigning season got off to an inspiring start as Lord Eddard of House Orgeron was successful in driving the religious zealots of BYU back to the mountains from whence they came. Though steadfast in their beliefs, the men of Provo were no match for the the fabled fighting Tigers and were devastated in their mission to cleanse the port town of New Orleans.

Having successfully defended one of his major cities, Lord Orgeron returns to his Death Valley stronghold to contemplate his next move. If the Tigers are to challenge for the Pigskin throne they must first find a way to feed their armies. Rich in agriculture, the granaries and livestock of Starkville would seem the perfect place to strike in order to shore up the purple and gold supply lines.

However, it appears fate has different ideas. As Lord Orgeron readies an invasion plan with Generals Canada and Aranda a messenger arrives bearing grave news. It appears that a small fighting force of madmen have been razing the Baton Rouge country side. Looting and pillaging as they go, the natives of Chattanooga descended upon the Swamp King’s homelands while Lord Eddard’s army was busy defending New Orleans. Bearing the sigil of the Water Moccasin the men of Chattanooga fight with a poisonous insanity and passion that belies their small stature. Surely a fighting force so minuscule knows they cannot truly hope to challenge the might of the Swamp King, yet it appears that the Moccasins seek to do just that as they prepare to move on Death Valley itself.

Frustrated to see his invasion plans delayed, Lord Oregon seems on the brink of rage, until one of the Swamp King's chief advisors soothes his leaders anger' by shrewdly recognizing the opportunity presented by this “invasion.” Sir Derek Ponamsky, or “The Binder” as the common-folk refer to him, pointed out that while the men of Chattanooga represent no true threat to the Swamp King’s throne, they could be a means to an end. Repelling this invasion would not only strengthen the countryside’s belief in their new leader, but would also allow for Lord Orgeron’s green fighting force to gain some much needed experience. After all, when opportunity presents itself only fools look away.

And thus, it is decided that the Fighting Tigers and the Moccasins will do battle in the plains of Death Valley. And it would seem more critical than ever that the Purple and Gold emerge successful as news arrives concerning the Crimson’s Emperors’ conquest across the narrow gulf. Though the legends spoke highly of the fighting forces of Tallahassee they were no match for Emperor Saban or his dreaded Crimson Tide. Tuscaloosa's success only reinforces that the path to the Pigskin throne is a long and arduous one and Southeasteros will not be cowed easily.

If House Orgeron seeks an empire of its own, it first must secure its homelands. The march of the Moccasin must come to an end.