Steauxn Ceauxld Serves Notice

Michael P.S. Hayes: “Tremendous victory by Coach O here over the Georgia Bulldogs — let’s hear what he has to say!”

The first thing I want to be done, is to get that bowl-cut sumbitch off of my field. Don’t just get him off of the field, get him out of the state of Louisiana because I’ve proved son, without a shadow of a doubt, you ain’t got what it takes to walk into Death Valley! You sit there and you thump your playbook, and you bring your five-stars, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your blitzes, talk about Process 3:16…Orgeron 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!

All Kirby’s gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird to cry into and drunk dial Uncle Nick and maybe he’ll give you a bit of that gumption back.

As the King Of Death Valley, I’m serving notice to every one of the SEC. I don’t give a damn what they are, they’re all on the list, and that’s Steauxn Ceauxld’s list, and I’m fixing to start running through all of ‘em.

And as far as this championship match is considered son, I don’t give a damn if it’s Kirby Smart or Dan Mullen, or even that sawed-off, beady-eyed piece of crap Nick Saban himself, LSU’s time is come, and when I get that shot you’re looking at the next SEC Champion.

And that’s the bottom line, because Steauxn Ceauxld said so.