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The Enemy of Our Enemy: Ft. Bunkie Perkins

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An Ole Miss fan makes it clear where his true anger lies.

Alabama v Mississippi Photo by Dave Martin/Getty Images

I believe there is value in differing perspectives. And with LSU playing Mississippi State, I found it best to engage in a fan of a program that has quite a bit of experienced being effectively wrecked by both teams in the last few years: general college football interwebz and Twitter gadfly Bunkie Perkins!

Given our deep and abiding respect for one another, he was perfectly happy to answer some questions for us.

1. The nature of both of these rivalries has changed for Ole Miss fans in recent years, so how does one experience the actual match-up now? Simple meteor game? Or is there an “enemy of my enemy” vibe?

For me personally, I want to see LSU roll State every time they play. In nearly every year prior, LSU plays State early, usually after State has won a couple of non-conference snoozers and has developed some false sense of security and confidence. More times than not, LSU quickly reintroduces them to reality. This year may be a little different since State has already gotten that disappointment arising from irrational preseason expectations out of the way, but I’d assume the same general outcome will take place, especially in Baton Rouge. No Ole Miss fan wants to see Mississippi State have nice things. If that’s at the cost of a prospering LSU, even for a weekend, then so be it.

2. You have to choose between presenting Ed Orgeron with a Coach of the Year award, or Steve Robertson with a Pulitzer. Which do you choose?

See, here’s the thing about Ed. I genuinely hope he does well. I think he’s finally realized that his best plan of attack is to hire really great coordinators and let them do their jobs. He didn’t take that approach when he was at Ole Miss, and the results speak for themselves. So I’d be fine with him winning Coach of the Year. Good for him and his personal growth and whatnot. Steve Robertson on the other hand, can’t win a Pultizer, unless its for fiction, and even then that may be a bit of a stretch considering that a lawsuit that was literally filed yesterday shows that he had a ghost writer for the book more than likely. And if you get into the weeds of the complaint, there might also be some light mortgage fraud in there as well. Hard to believe that a guy that looks like this wasn’t on the up and up.

3. What is the one thing you are confident a State fan *hasn’t* done with a cowbell?

I was going to say “ring it at a funeral or baptism” but you know that has happened...

4. F/M/K: Houston Nutt, Thomas Mars, Jackie Sherrill?

I’d make gentle and tender love to Houston Nutt. He’d take his time with you, advancing upon you 3 yards at a time. Missionary only. Its old fashioned but been his only offensive gameplan for decades. He also wouldn’t have much expectation on your performance because we all know none of us can expect much of his.

You marry Jackie Sherrill. He’s going to cheat, like, a lot, but he wont leave you, even if you want him too. Something to be said for that loyalty. Also, he knows how to castrate a bull. Might come in handy.

You kill Tom Mars. You cant have someone like that telling on you at the drop of a hat. He also isn’t going to get you eligible to play at Michigan, no matter what he tells you.