Things That Cost More Than Kirby Smart’s Haircut

Kirby Smart has had a fabulously successful tenure at the University of Georgia. He won the SEC title and played for the national title in his second season. He dethroned Alabama as the No. 1 recruiter on national signing day. And he was handsomely rewarded with a seven-year, $49 million contract.

But he can’t seem to bother spending more than $5 on his haircut.

Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Seriously, if this is costing him more than $5, tip included, there’s a robbery taking place in Athens, Ga. once a month or so. I assume there’s a bowl involved in some form or fashion.

Maybe its his mother, or his wife, but I assume both women love him, and I’d rather not impugn that.

Although it’s worth pointing out that my wife would never allow me to cut my hair like this, because, in her words, “how you look reflects on me.”

Maybe Kirby doesn’t want us to think well of Mrs. Smart.

Money is certainly no object here. Kirby could easily spend some money and treat himself. Among the items that he likely does treat himself too on a somewhat regular basis, the following cost more than what Kirby Smart spends on his haircut:

• A 10-piece Chicken McNugget value meal from McDonalds.
• A Blu-Ray movie from the discount bin at Wal-Mart (tax included).
• A pack of 50 ball-point pens from Office Depot.
• A Disney’s Moana Magical Seashell Necklace.
• A Gillette Mach 3 Razor.
• A 24-pack of Energizer Double-A batteries.
• A two-pack of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser cleansing pads.
• 8 oz. of Chimay Autumn Cheese from Trader Joe’s.
• A six-pack of 16-oz. Miller High Life cans.
• An adult lunch buffet at Golden Corral.
• A chicken bowl from Chipotle.
• A Five Guys hamburger.
• A month of Netflix subscription.
• A five-pack of LEGO minifigure hair pieces.
• A 10-pack of assorted color cans of Play-Doh.
• A 34-oz jar of Archer Farms Peanut Butter Monster trail mix from Target.
• A 12-oz bag of Blue Diamond Wasabi-Soy Almonds (low key a very addictive snack)
• A six-wing combo from Wing Stop.
• A Bob Ross Heat-Activated Panoramic Coffee Mug.
• A Funko Pop! Marvel: Thor Ragnarok - Hulk Helmeted Gladiator.
• TWO Utopia Home Sphere Ice Ball Makers.
• Three Noxema Eyebrow Shapers.
• Four YGS Stainless Steel Soap Eliminating Odor Smell Kitchen Bars.
• Five MACHEE Home Clear Orange Double Rubber Roller Massage Joints Finger Massagers.