SEC Media Days: A Lot of People Are On the Hot Seat

Are you a coach attending SEC Media Days (beginning on Monday, with LSU’s Devin White, Foster Moreau and Rashard Lawrence representing the program)?

Is your name Nick Saban?

No?

Congratulations, you’re on the hot seat.

Did you lose your most recent game? Oh, are you EVER on the hot seat.

Have you ever looked at a football? You should be feeling warm.

Competed in anything, ever?

Breathed oxygen?

YOU, sir or madam, will likely find your ass firmly planted on the hot seat when you sit down before Touchdown! Alabama and Co. at SEC Media Days.

Think you’re immune? Oh, honey. Let’s count this off.

Texas A&M Head Coach Jimbo Fisher

He’s been on the job in College Station eight whole months, and doesn’t have a single win to show for it. They may settle for such production in the ACC, but you’re in the big leagues now, Jimbo.

LSU Offensive Coordinator Steve Ensminger

Did you know he hasn’t called a single play that’s scored a touchdown since January of 2017? Them buns are a burnin’.

SEC Commissioner Greg Sankey

Hasn’t fired whomever negotiated a new contract for Paul Finebaum.

Michigan Head Coach Jim Harbaugh

The Wolverines don’t even PLAY an SEC schedule this year.

Miami Head Coach Mark Richt

Georgia still hasn’t won a national championship since 1980 and last time I checked, he was coach for 15 of those years so it’s still on him.

Seattle Seahawks Head Coach Pete Carroll

Alabama fans heard something about claiming a national championship and are ready to sue for gimmick infringement.

Baton Rouge Radio Personality Gordy Rush

He just lets anybody host a radio show. Definitely in trouble.

And finally, some suggestions from Twitter:

Monuments Men was crap. Game has passed ol’ George by. They didn’t even ask him to be IN the latest Ocean’s movie.

Can’t get Unhappily Ever After on Netflix.

Hasn’t scored a touchdown against the Florida Gators in 20 years.

“Former Atlanta Falcon” NEED I SAY ONE MORE DAMN WORD???!!!

Gives that Gomila asshole way too much control.

Clearly ignoring repeated warnings to stay off the couch here, Josh.

Needs to learn to support his local blogosphere if he wants to cool things off.

YOU THINK YOU CAN TRICK KIDS INTO PAINTING THAT FENCE FOREVER? Soon you’re going to need to produce, Myagi-san.

Look young man, 2005 called and they want their hat back and YOU NEED TO GET THAT OFFENSE WITH THE TIMES BEFORE THAT SEAT BURNS YOU UP.