Playin “Nice” with State of the U

So what late-80s prop will Miami desperately try to bring back again this year? Same ol’ chain, or will y’all change it up with a Kangol or some shell-top Adidas?

First of all, they’re shell TOE adidas. Second, you’re jealous of the Turnover Chain. It’s a cultural phenomenon that has spanned the world of sports. And education. And cooking. And anything competitive. Groups all over the world literally took what The U did and jacked our swag with belts, and trash cans (LOL Tennessee, you morons), planks, and anything else. So you better put some respek (no, that’s not a typo) on our name and enjoy the show.

The 80’s prop we’re bringing back is wins. And Championships. Starting on Sunday. Say something slick about that, bum.

Speaking of Adidas, are they making these new uniforms, literally, out of trash some sort of commentary on what Nike did in ruining Miami’s classic 80s/90s look?

Me: Yeah, Miami and Nike combined to have the first apparel sponsorship deal for a college team (go look it up, wait, that’s probably too hard for your readers to type, so here, click the link) but Nike’s designs have been bland, at best, if you’re not Oregon. So, Miami jumped ship, and adidas has been great. Yeah, the “trash jerseys” is a good soundbyte, but the upcycled Ocean waste is environmentally friendly, and they look AWESOME too.

So yeah. Nike’s designs kinda sucked, adidas’s designs have been great, and this is the latest one of those. And they’re earth friendly. AND they’ll be auctioned to help support Miami’s internationally renowned Rosenstiel School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences. I mean, fashion AND function. Nike wasn’t doing that for us. And that’s why I love adidas. (uh, ahem, any adidas reps reading this, you can send over my free merch anytime THANKSSSSSS)

Describe Mark Richt’s current level of tan on a scale of crispy bacon to full-on glazed ham?

Me: I’d say he’s a 3/4 cooked honeybaked ham right now. He’s not George Hamilton tan, that would be more toward crispy bacon, but CMR has definitely been enjoying the pool at his home (and on campus too. You know he does backflips off the high dive, right?)

So where did y’all bury Alex Cora after he died on the Omaha infield in 1996?

YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (insert expletives for the next, I dunno, 20 minutes)

I hate Warren Morris.

Bigger Miami cliche: the ‘72 Dolphins’ yearly toast, Don Johnson suits, Scarface, or “The U is Back!”?

Scarface. By far. It’s objectively NOT a good movie, but it’s iconic. I mean, the bad accents. The jumpy editing. The MOUNTAINS of Co.....”powder”. It’s a 3 hour unintentional comedy, and I know tons of people who have never been to Miami think that’s what everything is like.

But, I mean, depending on who you know.....