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How To Football: Week Two

Week two’s college football schedule, explained.

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Uhh Shift


Uhhhhhhhm Shift

Chap Kelley Go Back To Collage smh Shift

Coming off a clunker in his return to #collage against Cincinnati, Chip Kelly has to travel to Norman. It’s not liked they got killed by the Bearcats however, and I can see the Bruins giving the Sooners fits. Probably won’t happen, but at any rate it will be a good chance for Oklahoma to flex their muscles and show off in front of the nation.

If UCLA-Oklahoma has the best brand name appeal of the shift then Georgia Tech-USF has the on-field product. The S&P+ rankings of both teams: 45th and 47th, 82nd and 85th offensive, and 31st and 33rd defensively. Watch UCLA-OU to keep up with the twitter jokes but feed your football brain with this game.

The flip side of this game is Arizona at Houston, two teams coming off of rather sketchy week ones. Sumlin’s Arizona got housed by BYU and Houston needed a minute to put away Rice. This will likely be a good game in it’s own right but not as good as it’s reverse, both teams are separated by 10 spots in S&P+.

Mississippi State gets their first reps against a power five team in name only, Kansas State nearly lost to South Dakota last week and Duke-Northwestern round out the kickoff shift.


Georgia is probably going to shred South Carolina, but the shift outside of this game is pretty spotty so give this game front and center treatment in case Will Muschamp gets the first smart idea in his life and has something for Kirby.

Outside of our first SEC on CBS FOLLOWED BY AN ALL NEW CRIMINAL MINDS shift of the season, Scott Frost finally coaches in his first game at Nebraska following last week’s rainout. S&P+ really really really likes the Buffs but I’m gonna wait to drink the kool-aid and you probably should too. On the flip side of the coin, Willie Taggart really struggled in his first game at Florida State against a power five team and he had a lot more to work with than Frost has.

Memphis should tear apart Navy and North Carolina-ECU will be an absolute clinic in absolute dumbass, moronic, drenched with points football but that is far from the big ticket of the shift. That’s right, it’s the second shift of the second week of the season, which can only mean thing.


Keith Stone Shift

Clemson and Texas A&M is the GameDay game of the week, but I don’t like pretending that Jimbo has A&M anywhere close to Clemson this early in the tenure.

Stanford looked pretty good against San Diego State in their opener, but USC is quite a bit of a jump in talent. I still like the Cardinal but it will be worth keeping an eye out.

Now that Lodestar Showdown is off the books, Penn State and Pitt is the biggest “MAKE OUUUUUT” rivalry game going on, but the Nittany Lions shouldn’t have much of an issue with the Panthers after getting the rivalry emotions out of their system.

If you’re friends with a standard issue college football hipster (probably are!) then you know that their beloved Powder River bois got tarred by Washington State Saturday. It’s not going to get any easier for them, as the Pokes travel to CoMo and line up across from Drew Lock.

For the second week in a row, the night shift is unusually bland, so much so that Southeastern-LSU is an ESPN2 game.

Heppin’ Herm Shift

Hoooo buddy this is one I don’t thing anybody in their right minds was looking forward to, especially for these reasons. Michigan State just got of a tight squeeze against Utah State meanwhile Arizona State crushed UTSA. I mean Arizona State should crush UTSA, but we all thought that the Herm Edwards Experience wouldn’t even get through pit road before knocking off the wall. If Herm wins this one then there is a strong possibility that the national media might back off of him for a minute or two. Might.

Also Cal and BYU roll into their week two matchup with perfect records, which I did not expect either. Still, it’s kind of impossible to really makes heads or tails of where either team is at, so I’m very interested in this one.

...which is good, because the night cap falls off a cliff from there. Boise is going to turbokill UConn, and Washington State should rock San Jose State on a channel nobody gets.


The ancient spirits of the Run And Shoot have been awakened on the islands. Hawai’i QB Cole McDonald has 846 yds passing and 9 TDs in just two games. Rice gets thrown into the volcano at 11pm central on the Stadium phone/tablet/streaming device app. Note that this game is NOT available on Yes, Hawai’i’s weird ass TV deal continues, but that’s what is required when you want to see Robert Kekaula on the mainland. Mahalo, America