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Playin “Nice” with David Wunderlich

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If this Q&A seems mean-spirited, you clearly haven’t been on Twitter this week.

Yeah it’s Florida Week. Bad blood, blah blah, rivalry, blah blah, we know all this. But even though the hate is still the same, the team is different from year’s past. To get a breakdown of everything you really want to know about Florida, we spoke to David Wunderlich (@Year2 on Twitter) of GatorCountry.com. Now we know everything we could possibly need to know about this year’s Gators.

1. Because of some weird scheduling quirk that happened for some odd reason, Florida hasn’t played in Baton Rouge in three years. Are you concerned the Gator players may have trouble finding their way to Baton Rouge since it’s been so long?

If my experience in the Gator Band 16 years ago is any indication, all they have to do is follow the endless line of raised middle fingers and they’ll get there eventually.

2. Former Florida players seem to still be trolling LSU over Mike the Tiger VI dying back in 2016. What is it about animals dying from cancer that Florida players love so much?

Florida elected the CEO who oversaw the largest Medicare fraud in history to the governor’s mansion twice and then to the U.S. Senate. It’s not clear they collectively understand anything to do with medicine.

3. Has the Ghost of Tom Petty been summoned to claim he wasn’t actually a huge Gators fan in the first place?

I’m gonna go with yes because Petty famously worked as a groundskeeper at UF before he got his big break in music and the turf in the Swamp has been pristine this year. They butter him up by singing “Won’t Back Down” before the fourth quarter every game, which is really something they should’ve done while he was still alive.

4. Dan Mullen definitely hates Steve Spurrier poking his head into staff meetings, right?

Dan Mullen has had no chill since he left New Hampshire, so no, there’s no way he loves having the Spur Dog come in and draw up a play he saw on TV last night. It might still be more useful than Steve Ensminger taking to the whiteboard, though.

5. On a related note, give me your best idea of what you think Spurrier does in his office each day.

You say that like his office isn’t designated as the tee box on No. 1 at any number of North Florida country clubs. His job description seems to be schmoozing with big money boosters, cutting a video or two, and otherwise being available for random media hits. In other words, he’s Les Miles but with a winning career record against Nick Saban.