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And The Valley Scripts Presents Game Of Thrones Ep. 805: “The Cowbells”

Horrible violence and gratuitous nudity. This is HBO at its peak.

Imagine Coach O saying “Dracarys”

Context: This script is based on the penultimate episode of Game Of Thrones. If you haven’t seen the show or this episode, this script might be a spoiler. If you have seen this episode but have blocked it from your memory like most GOT fans, here is the scene you should re-watch for context.


Thousands of Mississippi State students and fans pack the stadium on an October afternoon, prepared to scream and make noise as their bulldogs face off against the No. 2 team in the country. However, deep down they are filled with fear, knowing a significant loss is very likely. The possibility of surrender has been contemplated.

On the other side, LSU quarterback Joe Burrow hopes to keep his wits and composure through the hostile environment. His coordinators attempt to guide him through the headset.

JOE BRADY: Those cowbells are gonna be loud, but you still got this. Just trust your game and we’ll pull out a win.

STEVE ENSMINGER: You made it through Austin, you can make it through this. Don’t worry.

JOE BURROW: Thanks guys, Let’s focus up and get this win.

Throughout the first quarter, Burrow is so engrossed in playing football he can barely hear the crowd. Despite his focus, the team leaves some opportunities on the field and settles for three field goals in the first half. He returns to the bench while his defense takes the field.

While going over the plays on routes concepts on the sideline, the Bulldogs reach the endzone. That’s when Joe hears that noise... that terrible noise.

An angry scowl forms on Burrow’s face as he grabs his helmet and gets ready to enter the game. His teammates look at him with caution, knowing he might fully be unhinged now.

Burrow lines up under center, and on the first play of the possession, unleashes flames and fury on the Bulldogs.

BRADY: Shit, Joey, take it easy on them.

Burrow ignores his warning. On his next possession, he lands another devastating blow to the Starkville faithful.

Mississippi State fans flee in terror. What they thought would be a peaceful surrender has turned into a bloody, fiery massacre. Burrow feels no sympathy for the lives he is taking and launches a massive fireball into the heart of the city.

ED ORGERON: Joe, listen, it’s over. We’re up by a ton.

Burrow does not respond and instead fires one final, violent finishing blow, cementing himself as the most dominant ruler the 14 Kingdoms have ever seen.

Just when it all seems over, Burrow displays one more shocking act.

BRADY: Joe, what the hell did you just show your ass for?

BURROW: It’s HBO. We needed a nude scene.